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Tuesday 8 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, the creepy regular customer found out I was lying about having a boyfriend in order to keep him away. He now thinks this is me playing hard to get. FML

#20916055
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42755) - you deserved it (4788)

On 10/11/2013 at 2:09am - work - by Itsnotmeitsyou (woman) - Australia

Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML

#20917903
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42664) - you deserved it (24110)

On 10/12/2013 at 6:03pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland (Borgarfjardarsysla)

Today, my friend texted me from a bar, saying they had just called my name in a raffle to win a trip to Aspen, CO. You had to be at the bar to claim the prize. I had left the bar half-an-hour earlier, not knowing they were even having a raffle. FML

#20920627
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42538) - you deserved it (4148)

On 10/14/2013 at 8:14pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mother kept nagging at me because my 9-month-old daughter only calms down when I play her metal. She demands I use gospel, otherwise she will turn into a "devil-worshipping lunatic like her mother". FML

#20915864
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42285) - you deserved it (4623)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:04pm - kids - by SlapAndTickle - United States

Today, I got dumped because a guy sat next to me at a party and I didn't get up to change seats. Apparently, it means I subconsciously like the guy who sat down. FML

#20919316
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42141) - you deserved it (3768)

On 10/13/2013 at 8:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I am 20 weeks pregnant. My fiancé has decided my new nickname will be "Oink Oink". FML

#20917413
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42126) - you deserved it (4676)

On 10/12/2013 at 9:19am - love - by oink oink... - United States (Texas)

Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML

#20920631
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42096) - you deserved it (4731)

On 10/14/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by zzfreakshow (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my friend to crop me out of her profile picture on Facebook because I look terrible in it. She responded that she wasn't going to, because it made her look better. FML

#20913413
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42036) - you deserved it (5181)

On 10/09/2013 at 1:21am - misc - by Anon - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was working a kid's birthday party dressed as a clown. The child's mother made me change because he was scared of clowns. The only thing I had in my car was a princess costume that was owned by a girl co-worker. So for 4 hours I had to entertain in a tight pink dress. I'm a guy. FML

#20913049
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41918) - you deserved it (4471)

On 10/08/2013 at 9:19pm - kids - by Allycat (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I jokingly told my friend that I was the kid who stole his brand new glow-in-the-dark markers back in kindergarten. Now he's ignoring my texts and calls and says we're through. So much for our twelve years of friendship. FML

#20918380
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41752) - you deserved it (10152)

On 10/13/2013 at 12:33am - misc - by markerThief (man) - United States (California)

Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for 6 hours. FML

#20911674
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41735) - you deserved it (4922)

On 10/07/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by BOHICA123 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized I can't afford to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years, as we split the rent. I'll need a second job just to get out of my bad relationship. FML

Today, my dad got me a GPS for my birthday. I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't have a permit or a car. FML

#20910835
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41043) - you deserved it (3502)

On 10/07/2013 at 11:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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