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Monday 7 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

#20919796
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42049) - you deserved it (3088)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at the dentist. I ended up having some work done and left with a numb mouth. I have school pictures in less than 2 hours and I can neither smile nor stop drooling everywhere. FML

#20920258
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41981) - you deserved it (6385)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:32pm - health - by soccer_bball (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother kept nagging at me because my 9-month-old daughter only calms down when I play her metal. She demands I use gospel, otherwise she will turn into a "devil-worshipping lunatic like her mother". FML

#20915864
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41941) - you deserved it (4603)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:04pm - kids - by SlapAndTickle - United States

Today, I got dumped because a guy sat next to me at a party and I didn't get up to change seats. Apparently, it means I subconsciously like the guy who sat down. FML

#20919316
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41875) - you deserved it (3744)

On 10/13/2013 at 8:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was working a kid's birthday party dressed as a clown. The child's mother made me change because he was scared of clowns. The only thing I had in my car was a princess costume that was owned by a girl co-worker. So for 4 hours I had to entertain in a tight pink dress. I'm a guy. FML

#20913049
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41610) - you deserved it (4448)

On 10/08/2013 at 9:19pm - kids - by Allycat (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML

#20911508
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41489) - you deserved it (3589)

On 10/07/2013 at 8:21pm - misc - by Agax (man) - United States (California)

Today, while despairing over having been rejected for my dream job, I received an email asking me to come back in for another interview. Then they called me to say they accidentally sent the email to all the applicants, and that they definitely aren't interested. FML

#20915163
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41445) - you deserved it (2735)

On 10/10/2013 at 1:59pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I realized I can't afford to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years, as we split the rent. I'll need a second job just to get out of my bad relationship. FML

Today, the creepy regular customer found out I was lying about having a boyfriend in order to keep him away. He now thinks this is me playing hard to get. FML

#20916055
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41023) - you deserved it (4622)

On 10/11/2013 at 2:09am - work - by Itsnotmeitsyou (woman) - Australia

Today, I was cuddling my new boyfriend, when he went in to kiss me for the first time. Sadly, I reflexively kneed him in the balls. FML

#20917814
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40750) - you deserved it (13098)

On 10/12/2013 at 4:28pm - love - by fuck.jpg.bmp.gif.rar.zip.shit (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, after paying back the money my grandma lent me to fix my car, I stepped outside, only to see my car leaking antifreeze all over the driveway. I had to ask for the money back to fix it again. FML

#20916786
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40205) - you deserved it (3437)

On 10/11/2013 at 6:53pm - money - by broke_broken - United States (Utah)

Today, I am 20 weeks pregnant. My fiancé has decided my new nickname will be "Oink Oink". FML

#20917413
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40200) - you deserved it (4476)

On 10/12/2013 at 9:19am - love - by oink oink... - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend texted me from a bar, saying they had just called my name in a raffle to win a trip to Aspen, CO. You had to be at the bar to claim the prize. I had left the bar half-an-hour earlier, not knowing they were even having a raffle. FML

#20920627
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40140) - you deserved it (3900)

On 10/14/2013 at 8:14pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)



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