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Wednesday 18 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML

#20889450
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69964) - you deserved it (6787)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:30pm - intimacy - by oops - United States (Texas)

Today, it's my wedding day. Almost a year ago I was in a terrible car accident that nearly left me paralyzed, but I worked my ass off to be able to walk down the aisle. After a lot of blood, sweat, and tears I made it to the big day... and woke up with food poisoning. FML

#20883990
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68021) - you deserved it (3117)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - health - by somethingblue - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with another man. Her main reaction was to get mad at me for not knocking. FML

#20893002
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61717) - you deserved it (4914)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked in on my daughter shaving the testicles of her boyfriend, who had apparently snuck in through her window. FML

#20888905
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58039) - you deserved it (5908)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by disappointed (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met my birth mother. My dad won't talk to me, my mom won't stop crying and thinks I'm replacing her, and the rest of my family won't stop calling me a bitch. I'm 21, and I just wanted to meet the woman who pushed me head-first out of her vagina. FML

Today, my doctor asked me to undo my bra so he could check my breathing without the straps restricting my lungs, I got home and told my friends how awkward it was. Not one of them has had this happen to them before. We all go to the same doctor. FML

#20883308
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56400) - you deserved it (5205)

On 09/16/2013 at 12:35am - health - by chestycough - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

#20895842
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56378) - you deserved it (6857)

On 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my mum got engaged to her American pen-pal, who is in prison over there for murder. FML

Today, I was lying naked on my boyfriend's bed for the first time ever. He glanced at me, then started playing with a Rubik's cube. FML

#20885155
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55691) - you deserved it (6693)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by someone (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML

#20894419
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55245) - you deserved it (5268)

On 09/24/2013 at 2:12pm - intimacy - by Craigslist is Evil. - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went on a blind date. He showed up in a shirt that read, "I f*ck on first dates". FML

#20888198
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55216) - you deserved it (6261)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by ughreally (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my daughter told me she is pregnant. The father is the foreign exchange student who just moved back to Germany. FML

#20887524
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55176) - you deserved it (5314)

On 09/19/2013 at 6:30am - kids - by monkey (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my best friend told me that she no longer wants to cut herself because now she's madly in love with a guy in our school. She doesn't know that he's gay. FML

#20893179
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55063) - you deserved it (3733)

On 09/23/2013 at 4:49pm - love - by friend loves a gay guy... - United States (Ohio)



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