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Wednesday 11 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I learned that my parrots now can shit horizontally when I found the wall next to the cage covered in feces. FML

Today, while working as a cashier, a really cute guy came up and said, "Hi Morgan". I freaked out and asked him how he knew my name. He then replied, "You have a name tag". FML

#20874687
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33524) - you deserved it (18218)

On 09/09/2013 at 5:51pm - work - by anon -

Today, my colleagues and I found out that our boss has been taking business advice from an astrologer as well as a soothsayer. FML

#20886196
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32336) - you deserved it (2421)

On 09/18/2013 at 2:34am - work - by CrystalsDontWork - United States (Texas)

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

#20882660
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27739) - you deserved it (40530)

On 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included. FML

#20877518
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22687) - you deserved it (68151)

On 09/11/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by lyfisdyno - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I was asked to leave a church service for laughing at the kids trying to sing. FML

#20876850
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22350) - you deserved it (75021)

On 09/11/2013 at 9:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I was playing World of Warcraft, when all of a sudden, I remembered I was supposed to be at a wedding. I was 25 minutes late to my own wedding. FML

#20880446
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22334) - you deserved it (89947)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment for the first time, only to see another girl walking out. I accused her of cheating with him and we got into a fight. Turns out I was at the wrong apartment. He lives next door. FML

#20881196
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21137) - you deserved it (50767)

On 09/14/2013 at 4:47pm - love - by 181999 - United States (Vermont)

Today, every time I write the word "analyst," I can't help but giggle because it begins with "anal." I'm 24, and studying to be a conflict analyst. FML

#20886867
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20560) - you deserved it (31192)

On 09/18/2013 at 6:59pm - work - by Sunny (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I pulled my motorcycle into a wheelie when my crush drove by. She was the one who drove me to the hospital when I went over backward. FML

#20878799
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19792) - you deserved it (49491)

On 09/12/2013 at 9:11pm - misc - by Robert - United States (Michigan)

Today, I forgot my blind date's name 3 times during our conversation. FML

#20885867
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19025) - you deserved it (38228)

On 09/17/2013 at 10:17pm - love - by lola1313 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized that what I thought for years was my country's National Anthem, is actually the theme song of a TV show. FML

#20878595
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19006) - you deserved it (54585)

On 09/12/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by :| (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I called work crying, telling them that I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow due to my grandmother's sudden and tragic death. After hanging up, I walked into the midnight release of Grand Theft Auto 5. I had no idea my boss was also an avid gamer. FML

#20884742
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18109) - you deserved it (89452)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:36am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Georgia)



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