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Wednesday 11 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a man walked into the bank I work at and asked what he would need in order to open an account. I had to look him in the eyes with a straight face, say, "Two pieces of identification," and ask him to put some pants on. FML

#20880767
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37708) - you deserved it (2720)

On 09/14/2013 at 11:04am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to a suicide prevention walk with a girl I like. Before the walk, we bought balloons to set free when they called the names of the deceased. To buy a balloon, you had to write a name on a sheet. Apparently, you weren't supposed to write your own. They called my name. FML

#20874883
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37705) - you deserved it (12112)

On 09/09/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I waited in the pouring rain for my wife to come pick me up from work. It was only after I was thoroughly drenched that I remembered it was my wife's day off, and that I drove myself to work earlier in her car, which was parked fifty feet from where I was waiting. FML

#20883919
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37468) - you deserved it (40460)

On 09/16/2013 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, after getting back from a year-long world trip, I nearly fell on my knees and cried when I saw boxes of Twinkies at my local gas station. Finding out they were back was the highlight of the year. FML

Today, I had to explain to my mother that faith healing will not work on plumbing. FML

Today, I had to explain to my grandfather that Canadians aren't evil by reminding him that he's Canadian. FML

#20885056
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36883) - you deserved it (2498)

On 09/17/2013 at 10:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found a pamphlet for alcohol counseling on my front door today. I think it was from the guys who pick up my recycling. FML

#20886188
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36764) - you deserved it (11007)

On 09/18/2013 at 2:19am - health - by I get the hint -

Today, my boyfriend and best friend decided to "help" by assembling my new front porch while I was away. Ecstatic, they displayed their handiwork. It's charming how the porch is precariously balanced, it leans in such a way that it appears it will fall over if you walk through the front door. FML

#20876742
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36662) - you deserved it (3172)

On 09/11/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, just like the last several days, I walked out to my car after class only to notice the Justin Beiber stickers arranged on my bumper and license plates. My dad put them there, and thinks it's just as hilarious as the first time. He has four packs of stickers left. FML

#20886085
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36476) - you deserved it (2721)

On 09/18/2013 at 12:22am - misc - by NonBelieber - United States (Alabama)

Today, my teenage son tried to huff a can of spray paint. FML

#20881721
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35994) - you deserved it (6117)

On 09/15/2013 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized I pay $160/month to get two texts a day. One from my bank telling me how much I have, one for my credit card telling me how much I owe. FML

Today, I realized that it's become a regular occurrence for my mother and me to talk about our pubic hair. I don't know which is worse: the fact that I know she shaves it, or the fact that we even talk about this stuff. FML

#20875739
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34697) - you deserved it (12624)

On 09/10/2013 at 1:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my grandma wears dentures when I had to fish them out of a cooler. She lost them bobbing for beer at a local bar. FML

#20875421
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34506) - you deserved it (2335)

On 09/10/2013 at 3:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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