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Wednesday 11 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, as I was getting my nails done at a salon, the owner pulled my head back against the chair in front of all the customers and began to tweeze my eyebrows. When I exclaimed that I didn't pay for that service, she replied, "I don't care. This needs done." FML

#20882967
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37336) - you deserved it (10085)

On 09/15/2013 at 9:21pm - misc - by BaMiTsAnYa (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my self-esteem sank so low that I sabotaged my workplace's corporate network, then fixed it, just so I could feel needed. FML

#20878417
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37287) - you deserved it (5772)

On 09/12/2013 at 3:40pm - work - by sysadmin:~# rm -rf / (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML

#20886441
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37224) - you deserved it (15975)

On 09/18/2013 at 10:53am - animals - by OldHabitsDieHard - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I noticed that my new colleague never laughs. Instead she says, "LOL". I have to work with her every day. FML

#20884887
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37168) - you deserved it (2487)

On 09/17/2013 at 4:26am - work - by Jienaf (man) - Malta

Today, in order to try and get over my slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them. One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing and chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed. FML

#20875531
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37091) - you deserved it (5497)

On 09/10/2013 at 7:36am - animals - by Evil_Angel_90 (woman) - Australia

Today, at a family party, my uncles were complimenting my mom on her pies. I cooked them. She took all the credit. FML

#20883979
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36808) - you deserved it (2551)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:03pm - misc - by zachadams - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up and saw that my alarm clock had fallen on the floor. It read 9:05 am. I panicked because I was late for work. As I frantically got ready, I went to pick my alarm clock up to place it back on my nightstand when I realized it was upside down. The actual time was 5:06. FML

#20879453
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36731) - you deserved it (6055)

On 09/13/2013 at 9:24am - misc - by NoorFML (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML

#20883435
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36569) - you deserved it (9682)

On 09/16/2013 at 3:26am - love - by Oh hells no (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a suicide prevention walk with a girl I like. Before the walk, we bought balloons to set free when they called the names of the deceased. To buy a balloon, you had to write a name on a sheet. Apparently, you weren't supposed to write your own. They called my name. FML

#20874883
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36389) - you deserved it (11606)

On 09/09/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, one of my online friends told me he's bought a plane ticket, so he can come visit me. I've told him multiple times before that I'm uncomfortable with this idea, but he keeps telling me to stop joking, and reminding me that he'll have no other place to stay. FML

Today, I got really excited when I got an email from a guy I've been flirting with in my math class. Turns out he thinks I stole his calculator and wants it back immediately. There goes my chance. FML

#20880890
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36246) - you deserved it (2663)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:04pm - love - by crushed (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I waited in the pouring rain for my wife to come pick me up from work. It was only after I was thoroughly drenched that I remembered it was my wife's day off, and that I drove myself to work earlier in her car, which was parked fifty feet from where I was waiting. FML

#20883919
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36197) - you deserved it (38567)

On 09/16/2013 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, while at the zoo, I found out that the rhinos there can pee backwards, while standing directly behind one. FML

#20874616
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36176) - you deserved it (3502)

On 09/09/2013 at 4:51pm - animals - by Are you kidding me? - United States (Kansas)



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