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Wednesday 11 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boss decided that we no longer have to clock out for cigarette breaks, but we do for toilet breaks. I'm the only non-smoker on my floor, and I'm getting penalised for it. FML

#20886555
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43121) - you deserved it (2990)

On 09/18/2013 at 1:48pm - work - by Anon - United Kingdom

Today, after growing my hair out for over a year and constantly being told that it makes me look like a girl, I finally cut it. The first thing my friends said when they saw me was that I now look like a "lesbian." FML

#20874059
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42996) - you deserved it (5448)

On 09/09/2013 at 2:42am - misc - by jessel_ladd92 (man) - United States

Today, it was my first day closing alone at a pet store when a lady came in wanting to return a bird she bought months ago. Once I informed her there were no returns on livestock, she let the bird free and ran out the door, leaving me to catch it and explain to my manager where it came from. FML

#20885115
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42723) - you deserved it (2643)

On 09/17/2013 at 11:44am - work - by tay - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was getting my nails done at a salon, the owner pulled my head back against the chair in front of all the customers and began to tweeze my eyebrows. When I exclaimed that I didn't pay for that service, she replied, "I don't care. This needs done." FML

#20882967
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42573) - you deserved it (12128)

On 09/15/2013 at 9:21pm - misc - by BaMiTsAnYa (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML

#20881272
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42230) - you deserved it (3509)

On 09/14/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML

#20879598
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42180) - you deserved it (6784)

On 09/13/2013 at 1:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Donegal)

Today, I started my new job. Only after I met my new boss did I realise I've met him before. He was at my friend's party last month, the only time in my life when I got so wasted that I danced on a table before puking on myself. He remembers me, too. FML

#20886598
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41998) - you deserved it (11315)

On 09/18/2013 at 2:31pm - work - by Anoymous (woman) - Slovakia (Bratislava)

Today, my son asked me if slavery was ever abolished. He's 19. FML

#20883742
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41986) - you deserved it (6740)

On 09/16/2013 at 1:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got really excited when I got an email from a guy I've been flirting with in my math class. Turns out he thinks I stole his calculator and wants it back immediately. There goes my chance. FML

#20880890
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41790) - you deserved it (3317)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:04pm - love - by crushed (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML

#20883435
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41443) - you deserved it (11255)

On 09/16/2013 at 3:26am - love - by Oh hells no (man) - United States (California)

Today, at a family party, my uncles were complimenting my mom on her pies. I cooked them. She took all the credit. FML

#20883979
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41294) - you deserved it (3226)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:03pm - misc - by zachadams - United States (New York)

Today, the guy on the floor above me decided it was time for a tuba jam session. Apparently optimal tuba time is 2am. FML

#20881873
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41264) - you deserved it (2789)

On 09/15/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by sleeplessinrichmond - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my roommate Skypes my friends on my laptop when I'm away. Not only that, he covers his face and shows them his junk. My friends no longer answer Skype calls from me. FML

#20886799
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41171) - you deserved it (4558)

On 09/18/2013 at 5:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)



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