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Wednesday 11 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

#20879220
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45286) - you deserved it (4989)

On 09/13/2013 at 1:55am - work - by ellen77 - United States (California)

Today, the guy I love asked me if hooking up counted as dating, because he thinks I'm "super hot," but he doesn't want "all the relationship shit." FML

#20874228
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45278) - you deserved it (4889)

On 09/09/2013 at 8:46am - love - by Renagirl (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had an interview for my dream job. I spent all of last night preparing, researching the company, and making sure everything was perfect. My interview was for 8am. I woke up at 10:30 to an alarm that had not gone off. FML

#20886551
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45248) - you deserved it (7271)

On 09/18/2013 at 1:41pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML

#20879909
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45245) - you deserved it (5447)

On 09/13/2013 at 5:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my extremely anti-war relatives hate me because they think I served in the Army, after hearing I was "a vet". I'm a veterinarian. FML

#20876113
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45046) - you deserved it (2787)

On 09/10/2013 at 7:30pm - work - by the next james herriot (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was complimented by a stranger, who said I looked great in my outfit. I thanked her, and she immediately gave me a fist-bump. I stared curiously, and she explained: she was arguing with her friends about whether I'm a man or a woman. The pitch of my voice was the answer. FML

#20881965
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44861) - you deserved it (4157)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my sister, who knows I'm severely afraid of heights, got me tickets to sky dive for my birthday. When I reminded her of my fear, she stated that she forgot and should just keep them for herself and her boyfriend. My mom agreed. FML

#20875635
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44786) - you deserved it (3636)

On 09/10/2013 at 10:56am - money - by PartTimePrincess (woman) - United States

Today, I was uninvited to a bachelorette party. I wouldn't really care, if the party hadn't been for me, ahead of my wedding tomorrow. FML

#20885218
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44517) - you deserved it (3492)

On 09/17/2013 at 1:52pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I officially became a divorced marriage counselor. FML

#20877295
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44464) - you deserved it (7256)

On 09/11/2013 at 5:35pm - work - by natattack - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She later put on Facebook that, "Today was a great day!" FML

#20878650
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44245) - you deserved it (4005)

On 09/12/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by WTF - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML

#20874413
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44015) - you deserved it (5335)

On 09/09/2013 at 1:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my two closest friends declared that they hated each other. They're my bridesmaids. The wedding is in three weeks. FML

#20878136
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43961) - you deserved it (3553)

On 09/12/2013 at 8:39am - misc - by SadFace (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my sister came out of her room sobbing uncontrollably. When I asked what was wrong, she put her fingers in my face and asked if they smelled like pickles, and if "that's normal for girls". They did. It's not. FML

#20880468
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43795) - you deserved it (3292)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:42am - health - by Carebeareatu (woman) - United States (Texas)



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