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Wednesday 11 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to the movies with my husband and our 6-year-old son. My husband kept stealing popcorn from the guy next to him, to the point where the guy punched him in the face. The movie was stopped, the police were called, and my son is now inconsolable. FML

#20881087
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42630) - you deserved it (4550)

On 09/14/2013 at 3:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

#20879220
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42582) - you deserved it (4677)

On 09/13/2013 at 1:55am - work - by ellen77 - United States (California)

Today, I bought $250 worth of groceries and was feeling rather good about myself because it's the first time I've been able to do so in months. When I returned home I found my fridge/freezer broken. Most of the food I bought was dairy or frozen. FML

#20875436
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42517) - you deserved it (2775)

On 09/10/2013 at 3:35am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML

#20879909
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42209) - you deserved it (4989)

On 09/13/2013 at 5:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, the guy I love asked me if hooking up counted as dating, because he thinks I'm "super hot," but he doesn't want "all the relationship shit." FML

#20874228
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41989) - you deserved it (4526)

On 09/09/2013 at 8:46am - love - by Renagirl (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML

#20883807
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41983) - you deserved it (7410)

On 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by meganmagee (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my sister, who knows I'm severely afraid of heights, got me tickets to sky dive for my birthday. When I reminded her of my fear, she stated that she forgot and should just keep them for herself and her boyfriend. My mom agreed. FML

#20875635
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41917) - you deserved it (3332)

On 09/10/2013 at 10:56am - money - by PartTimePrincess (woman) - United States

Today, a lady stormed into the pharmacy I work at and chewed me out because the medicine I sold her the day before gave her horrible diarrhea as a "side effect". I checked, and it was the medicine she asked for - laxatives. FML

#20883379
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41886) - you deserved it (1939)

On 09/16/2013 at 1:35am - health - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML

#20885188
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41758) - you deserved it (3409)

On 09/17/2013 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was complimented by a stranger, who said I looked great in my outfit. I thanked her, and she immediately gave me a fist-bump. I stared curiously, and she explained: she was arguing with her friends about whether I'm a man or a woman. The pitch of my voice was the answer. FML

#20881965
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41678) - you deserved it (3819)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML

#20874413
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41033) - you deserved it (4794)

On 09/09/2013 at 1:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML

#20883448
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41002) - you deserved it (3745)

On 09/16/2013 at 3:51am - kids - by clean - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my sister came out of her room sobbing uncontrollably. When I asked what was wrong, she put her fingers in my face and asked if they smelled like pickles, and if "that's normal for girls". They did. It's not. FML

#20880468
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40885) - you deserved it (3015)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:42am - health - by Carebeareatu (woman) - United States (Texas)



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