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Wednesday 11 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was at Walmart with my stepmom. We were about to check out when a little sweet-looking old woman came up and asked if she could get in front of us. Seeing as she only had two items in her hands we said yes. Her husband then came up with two carts full of stuff, condoms on top. FML

Today, I was talking to my husband about our favorite TV show, when he took my face in his hands and sweetly whispered, "You're so pretty. Why must you ruin it with words?" FML

#20880791
102 comments

Today, while out jogging with my mom, we saw my boyfriend walking in our direction. When we reached him, he took one look at my makeup-less face, then made a huge show of screaming in disgust before calmly walking away. FML

#20880120
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45486) - you deserved it (5032)

On 09/13/2013 at 8:37pm - misc - by -___- (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

#20879220
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45414) - you deserved it (5006)

On 09/13/2013 at 1:55am - work - by ellen77 - United States (California)

Today, I had an interview for my dream job. I spent all of last night preparing, researching the company, and making sure everything was perfect. My interview was for 8am. I woke up at 10:30 to an alarm that had not gone off. FML

#20886551
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45300) - you deserved it (7278)

On 09/18/2013 at 1:41pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML

#20879909
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45278) - you deserved it (5448)

On 09/13/2013 at 5:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my extremely anti-war relatives hate me because they think I served in the Army, after hearing I was "a vet". I'm a veterinarian. FML

#20876113
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45087) - you deserved it (2787)

On 09/10/2013 at 7:30pm - work - by the next james herriot (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was complimented by a stranger, who said I looked great in my outfit. I thanked her, and she immediately gave me a fist-bump. I stared curiously, and she explained: she was arguing with her friends about whether I'm a man or a woman. The pitch of my voice was the answer. FML

#20881965
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44908) - you deserved it (4158)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my sister, who knows I'm severely afraid of heights, got me tickets to sky dive for my birthday. When I reminded her of my fear, she stated that she forgot and should just keep them for herself and her boyfriend. My mom agreed. FML

#20875635
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44855) - you deserved it (3640)

On 09/10/2013 at 10:56am - money - by PartTimePrincess (woman) - United States

Today, I officially became a divorced marriage counselor. FML

#20877295
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44512) - you deserved it (7260)

On 09/11/2013 at 5:35pm - work - by natattack - United States (Texas)

Today, in French class we had to write love letters as an exercise. Since my boyfriend recently broke up with me by text message, I ended up writing a 20-sentence love letter in French to my cat. FML

#20878541
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44228) - you deserved it (4041)

On 09/12/2013 at 5:24pm - love - by Frenchie - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML

#20874413
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44057) - you deserved it (5340)

On 09/09/2013 at 1:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my two closest friends declared that they hated each other. They're my bridesmaids. The wedding is in three weeks. FML

#20878136
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44002) - you deserved it (3556)

On 09/12/2013 at 8:39am - misc - by SadFace (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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