Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Wednesday 11 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML

#20883830
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48942) - you deserved it (7676)

On 09/16/2013 at 3:08pm - love - by Jake - United States (Oregon)

Today, my room mate told all of our mutual friends that he had walked in on me doing woodwork in my room. They all thought he meant he had caught me rubbing one out. I'm actually building a guitar. FML

#20883989
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48837) - you deserved it (3387)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - intimacy - by I have wood (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, as I started my car, I heard the most horrific sounds coming from the engine. When I lifted the hood I realized I'd found my son's cat. FML

Today, I helped my brother propose to his girlfriend of 5 years in the spot where they had first met. As he delivered his heartfelt speech, a sizable crowd appeared. When he got down on one knee, she punched him in the gut, yelled, "I never loved you", and ran away. Now he won't talk to me. FML

#20887080
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48489) - you deserved it (3049)

On 09/18/2013 at 9:45pm - love - by ElizaZee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at Walmart with my stepmom. We were about to check out when a little sweet-looking old woman came up and asked if she could get in front of us. Seeing as she only had two items in her hands we said yes. Her husband then came up with two carts full of stuff, condoms on top. FML

Today, one of my employees called in after his 8-hour shift, explaining that he had bed bugs at home, found one on his shirt, and thinks they are in the store. I own a mattress shop. They'd spread. FML

#20877588
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47727) - you deserved it (2634)

On 09/11/2013 at 9:12pm - work - by icanteven - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML

#20883807
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47658) - you deserved it (8756)

On 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by meganmagee (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I bought $250 worth of groceries and was feeling rather good about myself because it's the first time I've been able to do so in months. When I returned home I found my fridge/freezer broken. Most of the food I bought was dairy or frozen. FML

#20875436
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47466) - you deserved it (3460)

On 09/10/2013 at 3:35am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my sister, who knows I'm severely afraid of heights, got me tickets to sky dive for my birthday. When I reminded her of my fear, she stated that she forgot and should just keep them for herself and her boyfriend. My mom agreed. FML

#20875635
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47026) - you deserved it (3873)

On 09/10/2013 at 10:56am - money - by PartTimePrincess (woman) - United States

Today, I was uninvited to a bachelorette party. I wouldn't really care, if the party hadn't been for me, ahead of my wedding tomorrow. FML

#20885218
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46579) - you deserved it (3662)

On 09/17/2013 at 1:52pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my extremely anti-war relatives hate me because they think I served in the Army, after hearing I was "a vet". I'm a veterinarian. FML

#20876113
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46542) - you deserved it (2896)

On 09/10/2013 at 7:30pm - work - by the next james herriot (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my roommate unexpectedly came home with a new puppy. I'm severely allergic to dogs. When I reminded her of this, she explained that the puppy was her family now and if I didn't like it I should move out because blood is thicker than water. My roommate is my sister. FML

#20875920
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46538) - you deserved it (2948)

On 09/10/2013 at 5:02pm - animals - by RoommateWanted (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, a lady stormed into the pharmacy I work at and chewed me out because the medicine I sold her the day before gave her horrible diarrhea as a "side effect". I checked, and it was the medicine she asked for - laxatives. FML

#20883379
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46485) - you deserved it (2449)

On 09/16/2013 at 1:35am - health - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: