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Wednesday 11 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I hooked up with the guy I've liked for a while, even though my friends joked that his large pickup truck meant that he was "compensating" for having a small penis. They were right. Very right. FML

#20876171
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53230) - you deserved it (11587)

On 09/10/2013 at 8:14pm - intimacy - by CityBoysNow - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend and mother have been sending each other sexually-explicit picture messages. FML

Today, I was lying naked on my boyfriend's bed for the first time ever. He glanced at me, then started playing with a Rubik's cube. FML

#20885155
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52515) - you deserved it (6331)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by someone (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my doctor asked me to undo my bra so he could check my breathing without the straps restricting my lungs, I got home and told my friends how awkward it was. Not one of them has had this happen to them before. We all go to the same doctor. FML

#20883308
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52457) - you deserved it (4801)

On 09/16/2013 at 12:35am - health - by chestycough - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my partner walked in the room wearing a sweater from my wardrobe, making jokes about it and saying how ugly it was. That sweater was the last thing my father wore before he passed away. FML

Today, I met my birth mother. My dad won't talk to me, my mom won't stop crying and thinks I'm replacing her, and the rest of my family won't stop calling me a bitch. I'm 21, and I just wanted to meet the woman who pushed me head-first out of her vagina. FML

Today, my mum got engaged to her American pen-pal, who is in prison over there for murder. FML

Today, my girlfriend is upset with me for not wanting to sext. I can't sext with her because she adds 'lol' to everything which turns me off. FML

#20879249
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50840) - you deserved it (5916)

On 09/13/2013 at 2:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mother informed me that we are no longer taking my graduation trip to New York. Instead, she and her group of continuously drunk friends are going to Vegas because, "We could win the jackpot and take you on an even bigger trip to New York!" She's never won anything in her whole life. FML

#20875663
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49554) - you deserved it (3223)

On 09/10/2013 at 11:52am - money - by zcollins - United States (California)

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

#20876988
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49551) - you deserved it (3949)

On 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm - animals - by ugh Buck! (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML

#20874035
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49313) - you deserved it (5358)

On 09/09/2013 at 2:15am - intimacy - by merpaderp14 (woman) - Canada

Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML

#20883830
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48710) - you deserved it (7653)

On 09/16/2013 at 3:08pm - love - by Jake - United States (Oregon)

Today, I asked a friend to hang out. I'm so used to people saying no, that when she said yes I burst into tears and had a panic attack. FML

#20880509
117 comments


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