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Wednesday 21 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my band informed me that our gig this afternoon was actually a wedding. Whose wedding? My ex-wife's, along with the guy she cheated on me with. For their first dance, I had to sing what used to be our song. FML

#20844435
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75835) - you deserved it (4228)

On 08/19/2013 at 9:06am - love - by Love stinks (man) - United States

Today, my sister announced that she and her boyfriend are getting married. Her boyfriend is my husband. We're not even legally divorced yet. FML

#20857902
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64918) - you deserved it (3892)

On 08/28/2013 at 1:47pm - love - by still together (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, half-way through my trip to Florida, I received a call from my friend of six years. "I sort of had sex with your girlfriend while you were gone." He said it "just sort of happened." FML

#20855295
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56299) - you deserved it (4074)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55970) - you deserved it (4426)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, as I was walking downstairs to get breakfast, I saw my parents had decided to have a quickie on the couch. I had to awkwardly stand out of sight on the stairs, too scared to go down, or even back up, because our stairs creak. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML

#20852629
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53769) - you deserved it (7089)

On 08/24/2013 at 6:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Isle of Man

Today, I asked my boss for a raise, explaining that another shop offered me a job at a higher rate, but I would stay if he would offer me the same. Instead, he fired me then called the other shop and said I was fired for failing a drug test. FML

#20857270
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53240) - you deserved it (6912)

On 08/27/2013 at 11:21pm - work - by nowork - United States (New York)

Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML

#20848750
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53088) - you deserved it (8030)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by none - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

#20846451
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53060) - you deserved it (5957)

On 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by aly55a_mariie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years old. FML

#20848790
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53043) - you deserved it (3308)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:48am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML

#20851263
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52974) - you deserved it (15747)

On 08/23/2013 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML

#20848780
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52723) - you deserved it (3832)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:40am - love - by Embarrassed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at soccer tryouts, the coach made us run the entire practice. I ran the whole two hours ahead of everyone. When the tryout ended, I vomited due to dehydration. I didn't make the team. The coach's reasoning: "Only the weak throw up". FML

#20856558
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52276) - you deserved it (4688)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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