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Wednesday 14 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was at the gym when I noticed a girl I like working out on the elliptical. I went to go say hi, but chickened out and went to run on the treadmill in front of her instead. I was so nervous that I tripped and the machine threw me headfirst into her machine. FML

#20839453
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40193) - you deserved it (8114)

On 08/15/2013 at 10:32pm - love - by ZeroLuck (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was to give a business report to several important shareholders. Right at the start, I broke into a coughing fit, then got so nervous that I froze up. When I tried to excuse myself, I tripped over my own feet. I'm now facing demotion for making the company look bad. FML

#20843443
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40063) - you deserved it (5257)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:23pm - work - by socianx (man) - Albania

Today, my OCD manager sprayed my hands with chemicals because I touched the bin while throwing away a piece of paper. My hands are now covered in itchy, unattractive rashes. FML

#20833453
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39836) - you deserved it (2925)

On 08/12/2013 at 7:19am - work - by nearly a crazy lady - United Kingdom

Today, I got my girlfriend to play Smash Bros Brawl with me. As it was her first time, I set up handicaps to give her at least a shot at winning. She won, quite handily. A little irritated at this, I took off the handicaps and tried again. She beat me even faster. FML

#20847705
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39826) - you deserved it (24152)

On 08/21/2013 at 11:17am - misc - by Loser (man) - United States

Today, my drunk mom kicked me out of my own birthday party, calling me a "party-pooper" and saying I was killing everyone's buzz. FML

#20843210
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39506) - you deserved it (3904)

On 08/18/2013 at 2:22pm - misc - by 12345678910 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML

#20835961
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39279) - you deserved it (3130)

On 08/13/2013 at 8:08pm - money - by What. - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was told that my son has Twitter and Facebook accounts that he uses to try to bully people online, some of which are celebrities. He does it really badly, though. FML

#20837780
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39170) - you deserved it (6891)

On 08/14/2013 at 10:02pm - misc - by ShitStirringSon (man) - United States (California)

Today, my wackjob roommate decided to sit next to me on the couch, basically make out with her pet rabbit, and baby-talk to it. Key highlights involved giggling while the bunny licked up inside her nose and then commenting on the rabbit's "pronounced nipples". Why? FML

#20848347
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39100) - you deserved it (3503)

On 08/21/2013 at 8:09pm - animals - by Jade (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered I have epilepsy. 10 years ago, I told my mother about my frequent fits of vertigo, deja vu, nausea, flashes of memory and strange sounds, smells, and images, coupled with an other-worldly feeling. I thought they were holy visions. So did she. FML

Today, I went to see a therapist for help with my severe fear of spiders. The therapist held a big spider in a box inches away from my face. I ran to the back of the room and asked him why. He responded with, "Aren't therapists supposed to help you face your fears?" I'm paying $150 an hour. FML

#20846128
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38836) - you deserved it (7133)

On 08/20/2013 at 9:41am - health - by no that does not help (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked past a girl giving out leaflets for a nightclub. She ignored me the first two times. I dismissed it cynically, thinking she was only giving them to good looking young people. The third time she gave one to a balding 40-year old guy with his pre-teen kid. She still ignored me. FML

#20835243
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38610) - you deserved it (4863)

On 08/13/2013 at 10:55am - misc - by martyn28 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, after an argument with my wife, I stormed out of our bedroom through the sliding doors to the balcony. Only there was no balcony, because it still hasn't been replaced yet. I'm now laid-up in hospital. FML

#20843350
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38480) - you deserved it (15139)

On 08/18/2013 at 4:13pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I forgot to shut off some pumps before closing the main valves that run to them. Several sirens soon started blaring at a deafening level. I'm new here and nobody else is around. I don't know how to shut the sirens off. FML

#20844606
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38194) - you deserved it (6865)

On 08/19/2013 at 12:00pm - work - by oops (man) - United States (Nebraska)



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