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Wednesday 14 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was watching TV with my boyfriend, when a weird wart-removal ad came on. He watched in disgust as the lady's wart said rude things to her. Then he looked at me and said seriously, "I'm glad yours don't talk..." FML

#20842136
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41661) - you deserved it (4493)

On 08/17/2013 at 8:27pm - love - by WartCream - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was told that I looked like a Kardashian by a total stranger. Flattered, I asked which one. His response? "I don't know, the ugly one." FML

#20848594
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41343) - you deserved it (5312)

On 08/21/2013 at 11:00pm - misc - by theuglyone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to my car to get a few things, when I discovered it had been broken into. Nothing of value was taken. My window was busted in just for a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, and my car ash tray. FML

#20833889
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41218) - you deserved it (6560)

On 08/12/2013 at 2:54pm - misc - by amayasoma - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I accidentally hit an elderly man while driving. The police came, and five minutes later I was told that he confessed to walking in the middle of the road to get hit and claim compensation. He was fine, but I still got charged for hitting a pedestrian. FML

#20843576
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40878) - you deserved it (4531)

On 08/18/2013 at 7:23pm - misc - by FMLdude - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was out jogging. As I took a rest to have a drink of water, a car pulled onto the sidewalk and bumped into me. Not just any car; my dad's car. He then drove away. FML

#20844605
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40759) - you deserved it (3445)

On 08/19/2013 at 12:00pm - misc - by FamilyLoving - United States (New York)

Today, I caught my new neighbor sticking his knob inside my car and pissing on my seats. His reason? I parked in his spot. FML

#20834187
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40681) - you deserved it (7692)

On 08/12/2013 at 6:47pm - misc - by wildwonder808 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went on a new medicine. One of the listed side-effects was "anal seepage" and I spent the better part of the day laughing with my coworkers about how it's "not a real side-effect". I found out that it really is while stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way home. FML

#20839551
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40617) - you deserved it (9555)

On 08/15/2013 at 11:18pm - health - by stinky car - United States (Alabama)

Today, while working as a swim instructor, I started singing the hokey pokey to get all the kids used to putting their faces in the water. One of the kids was covering his ears. When I asked him why, he said "because you were singing." He's 3. FML

#20842523
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40508) - you deserved it (6204)

On 08/18/2013 at 12:35am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my ass decided that it was the perfect day to exhibit the diarrhea side-effect of medicine I'm taking. I definitely made a lasting impression on my interviewer. FML

#20846310
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40439) - you deserved it (2766)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:18pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my house was broken into. After we called the police, my dad started calling himself Sherlock Holmes and talking in a British accent. He insists on calling me Watson. He is going around the neighborhood acting like Sherlock, investigating stuff. He won't stop. FML

Today, I was eating with my grandma and her sister, who don't get along. I went to the bathroom for just 2 minutes, only to come back to find pancakes everywhere and our plates smashed on the ground. They got into a "little argument". FML

#20835313
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40360) - you deserved it (3160)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my superior gave me a box of ethernet cables which were previously attached to mainframes storing classified data. He requested I cut them in half so that the residual data would leak out. Not only does this guy make twice my salary, there was no convincing him otherwise. We cut them up. FML

Today, I found out that while having a GPS tracker in your car is helpful for tracking down car thieves, it's also helpful to your psycho ex, who can use it to track you down. FML

#20846264
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40314) - you deserved it (3286)

On 08/20/2013 at 12:28pm - misc - by nobieb (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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