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Wednesday 14 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom got a cat. I'm allergic to cats, so I politely asked my mom why she got it. Her response: "I want you to finally want to move out." I turned eighteen two weeks ago. FML

#20835283
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43923) - you deserved it (4402)

On 08/13/2013 at 11:36am - work - by skaterboy - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. The date was going great until he decided to try flossing his teeth with my hair. FML

#20835321
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43700) - you deserved it (3326)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:07pm - love - by hairless by death - United States (California)

Today, while getting ready to welcome my first child into the world, my father in law decided to "help out" and threw out a bunch of papers I needed. Like my child's application for a health card, social insurance number, and my birth plan, as well as instructions from my doctor. FML

#20840198
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43588) - you deserved it (3076)

On 08/16/2013 at 11:21am - misc - by momma - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that when my crush leans in to kiss me, I get so nervous I throw up. Then throw up again thinking about how embarrassed I am. FML

#20841404
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43585) - you deserved it (6947)

On 08/17/2013 at 4:24am - love - by love-shot - United States (Kansas)

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML

#20840692
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43360) - you deserved it (17492)

On 08/16/2013 at 6:21pm - money - by JacksWag4 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my teacher told the class that we had better like the people at our table because we would all be working together for the final group assessment. Everyone looked at me, stood up, and moved. FML

#20834922
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43271) - you deserved it (7163)

On 08/13/2013 at 2:36am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I submitted my big assignment to my teacher at 1:55pm. The deadline was 2pm. She rejected it, because her watch read a few minutes after 2pm, and she maintains that the time on her watch is the "real" time. FML

#20840255
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43044) - you deserved it (11151)

On 08/16/2013 at 12:04pm - misc - by WatchOut - Singapore

Today, I asked out the girl who always looks and smiles at me in class. I was surprised when she rejected me until I found out she was actually always looking at the clock behind me, and smiling when class is almost over. FML

#20846650
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42925) - you deserved it (4249)

On 08/20/2013 at 5:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while in the restroom washing my hands, a girl decided to let one rip while in the stall. When she came out she gave me a dirty look of disgust and said, "At least wait until I leave." She and I were the only ones in the restroom. FML

#20841231
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42611) - you deserved it (2811)

On 08/17/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by mugres22 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I was in love with his best friend. He confessed that he was too. FML

#20848315
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42610) - you deserved it (20890)

On 08/21/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by me (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

#20841455
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42462) - you deserved it (7012)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after I had watched a few videos of myself, I realized the sound of my own voice is the single most annoying thing I have ever heard. FML

#20847659
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42400) - you deserved it (5077)

On 08/21/2013 at 10:08am - misc - by shut_up (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found my dad drunk, sitting on the bathroom floor crying. When I asked him why, he said, "My son is gay." I'm his only child, and I'm a girl. FML

#20844156
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42215) - you deserved it (2211)

On 08/19/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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