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Wednesday 14 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

#20836671
111 comments

Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML

#20833982
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44507) - you deserved it (3978)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:04pm - misc - by idonteven - United States (California)

Today, I asked out the girl who always looks and smiles at me in class. I was surprised when she rejected me until I found out she was actually always looking at the clock behind me, and smiling when class is almost over. FML

#20846650
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44502) - you deserved it (4420)

On 08/20/2013 at 5:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom got a cat. I'm allergic to cats, so I politely asked my mom why she got it. Her response: "I want you to finally want to move out." I turned eighteen two weeks ago. FML

#20835283
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44029) - you deserved it (4408)

On 08/13/2013 at 11:36am - work - by skaterboy - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I discovered that when my crush leans in to kiss me, I get so nervous I throw up. Then throw up again thinking about how embarrassed I am. FML

#20841404
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44011) - you deserved it (7002)

On 08/17/2013 at 4:24am - love - by love-shot - United States (Kansas)

Today, while getting ready to welcome my first child into the world, my father in law decided to "help out" and threw out a bunch of papers I needed. Like my child's application for a health card, social insurance number, and my birth plan, as well as instructions from my doctor. FML

#20840198
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43719) - you deserved it (3090)

On 08/16/2013 at 11:21am - misc - by momma - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML

#20840692
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43548) - you deserved it (17564)

On 08/16/2013 at 6:21pm - money - by JacksWag4 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my teacher told the class that we had better like the people at our table because we would all be working together for the final group assessment. Everyone looked at me, stood up, and moved. FML

#20834922
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43423) - you deserved it (7180)

On 08/13/2013 at 2:36am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while in the restroom washing my hands, a girl decided to let one rip while in the stall. When she came out she gave me a dirty look of disgust and said, "At least wait until I leave." She and I were the only ones in the restroom. FML

#20841231
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43265) - you deserved it (2866)

On 08/17/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by mugres22 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I submitted my big assignment to my teacher at 1:55pm. The deadline was 2pm. She rejected it, because her watch read a few minutes after 2pm, and she maintains that the time on her watch is the "real" time. FML

#20840255
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43198) - you deserved it (11174)

On 08/16/2013 at 12:04pm - misc - by WatchOut - Singapore

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I was in love with his best friend. He confessed that he was too. FML

#20848315
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42766) - you deserved it (20963)

On 08/21/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by me (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

#20841455
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42587) - you deserved it (7032)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I fell asleep on the beach while tanning. I was woken up by the flock of seagulls eating the bread from my stomach. Why was bread on my stomach? Because my little brother knows birds are my biggest fear. FML

#20837323
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42553) - you deserved it (5327)

On 08/14/2013 at 4:28pm - animals - by Nanana32 (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)



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