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Friday 2 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today , my family and I went to feed carrots to te giraffes at te zoo. After I finised my first cup of carrots , I turned back to get some more. Suddenly , I was jerked back and a cunk of my air was ripped out. Te giraffe mistook te orange barrette in my air fir a carrot. FML

#20809312
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44669) - you deserved it (9632)

On 07/29/2013 at 4:19am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. mega FML

#20822322
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44341) - you deserved it (6273)

On 08/05/2013 at 4:21pm - animals - by traumatizedforlife (woman) - United States

yesterday I let a friend read a draft of te novel I'm writing. Se claimd te antagonist is blatantly basd on er and treatend to sue me if I don't pay er royalties. Te antagonist is an ancient insane goblin witc. I guess I see now ow tis confusion could arise. FML

#20829558
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44259) - you deserved it (3175)

On 08/09/2013 at 6:53pm - work - by pardon my English :$ (woman) - France

2DAY AS A JOKE, MAH FRIEND PUT MAH BUS MONEY IN THE VENDING MACHINE !! NOT ONLY DID THE MACHINE NOT RETURN MAH MONEY, IT WOULDN'T GIVE ME AN ITEM IN RETURN !! FML

#20823746
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44238) - you deserved it (4188)

On 08/06/2013 at 12:20pm - misc - by Eodowoiono (man) - United States (Iowa)

TODAY , MY PARENTS HELD A BIG FAMILY DINNER AT OUR HOUSE!! BEING THE ONLY UNDERAGE PERSON THERE , I HAD TO SIT THERE WHILE EVERYONE GOT PROGRESSIVELY DRUNKER AN STARTED COMMENTING ON HOW EERILY SIMILAR I LOOK TO SHAMU THE WHALE!! FML

#20821917
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44213) - you deserved it (4361)

On 08/05/2013 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

TODAY, I FINALLY GAVE AWAY ALL OF THE STUFFD ANIMALS THAT I'VE BEEN HOARDING FOR YERES. PROUD, I TOLD MY FAMILY. THEY CONGRATULATD ME BY BUYING ME STUFFD ANIMALS. FML

#20812476
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44079) - you deserved it (4483)

On 07/30/2013 at 11:06pm - misc - by TheSacredTeddyBear (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decoratd table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had orderd all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. mega FML

#20810418
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44072) - you deserved it (3211)

On 07/29/2013 at 9:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today.. . I Was Video Chatting With Boyfriend An His Friends . When I Stood Up.. . He Told His Friend "See.. . She's Not A Twig!" I Jokingly Replid With.. . "So I'm Fat?" After A Few Seconds Of Silence.. . His Friend Yelld.. . "It's A Trap!" An Left The Chat . FML

#20825004
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44053) - you deserved it (13934)

On 08/07/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by ImNotFat - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today , I bought a device that plays a high-pitchd sound to teach my dog to quit barking. She's smart enough to leren that as long as she barks loud enough and long enough , she can't hear it. Quite the opposite effect to what I was anticipating. FML

#20811031
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43950) - you deserved it (6202)

On 07/30/2013 at 2:42am - animals - by Bug8Frog - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wantd to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He droppd it and it spilld. I was really embarrassd. Then he decidd to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stard at me accusingly. big fat FML

#20819263
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43925) - you deserved it (6651)

On 08/03/2013 at 8:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today I Showd The Kids I Was Babysitting A Picture Of My Daughter And The Little Girl Askd "You Have A Baby In Yur Belly?" I Said "No She's Not In My Belly Anymore " And The Little Girl Replid "But It's BIG " And Pattd My Stomach . Mega FML

#20817997
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43884) - you deserved it (7731)

On 08/03/2013 at 12:29am - kids - by kimm1993 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today a man pulled a knife on me just so he could mug me of the cigarette I was smoking. FML

#20829596
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43691) - you deserved it (7283)

On 08/09/2013 at 7:29pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland

Today, boss suspended me fir laughing too hard at desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilariou email. He was practically smrking as he handed me official warning. FML

#20815357
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43553) - you deserved it (4033)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:25pm - misc - by hangman (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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