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Friday 26 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I confessed to losing my wife's engagement ring, and replacing it with a lookalike months ago. My wife also confessed that her actual engagement ring was locked in the safe, and the one I lost had been a fake. I've been paying the replacement off on my credit card for 6 months. FML

#20798091
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41525) - you deserved it (12652)

On 07/22/2013 at 6:30pm - love - by RonnieG (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I couldn't move without people talking to me about the "Royal Baby". It's like it's actually going to have an effect on my life. FML

#20797431
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41292) - you deserved it (5879)

On 07/22/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I called an airline to try to locate a bag I left on a flight. When I told the phone rep which airport I flew into, he asked me what city it was in. He paused after I told him, then asked me what state Seattle is in. I don't think I'll be getting my bag back. FML

#20798415
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41231) - you deserved it (3406)

On 07/22/2013 at 10:18pm - misc - by 1942ford (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, because I refused to shave off what my wife calls my "pedo 'stache", she painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van. FML

#20807393
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40971) - you deserved it (27633)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while relaxing in a chair in a shop, a man approached me and said, "You have no idea how many times I've farted in that chair." FML

#20797188
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40968) - you deserved it (4249)

On 07/22/2013 at 7:49am - misc - by xXxXxTOBIxX (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend hasn't really been "researching" for work on the Internet; she's actually been tweeting the same pathetic plea to a guy from One Direction asking him to "follow" her. She's 29. FML

#20808571
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40466) - you deserved it (4583)

On 07/28/2013 at 8:18pm - misc - by LeaveTheGuyAlone (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to help a bird who had broken his wing. I walked straight into a door while looking down at him in my hands, and ended up all but breaking his other wing. FML

#20809873
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40374) - you deserved it (12462)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:11pm - animals - by TehUglyLife (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was pretending to be a ballerina. I was dancing around my room, making a complete dick of myself. I eventually caught sight of a pair of guys grinning and filming me with their cellphones through my window. FML

#20811460
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40087) - you deserved it (13214)

On 07/30/2013 at 12:42pm - misc - by kiwichick4life (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finished the kayak I have been working on for four years. I can't get it out of my basement. FML

#20811304
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40072) - you deserved it (23441)

On 07/30/2013 at 10:13am - misc - by kayak probs - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my 70-year-old grandmother held a celebration over officially having divorced my grandfather. FML

#20816755
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39970) - you deserved it (3856)

On 08/02/2013 at 8:41am - love - by chickety boom - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up on the last day of my vacation at the beach to find that my dog had chewed a hole in the wall of my rented house, 2 hours before the owner arrived to check for any damage. FML

#20809073
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39670) - you deserved it (6042)

On 07/29/2013 at 1:08am - animals - by feelgood - United States

Today, my grandma walked into my house drunk. She was mumbling something about her being a badass because she beat someone with a pool stick at a bar. She's 68 years old. FML

#20804067
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39380) - you deserved it (3842)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by dareyale (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend got angry because I laughed when he asked me if he should retire from being a Pokemon Trainer. He was serious. He's also 21. FML

#20798065
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39319) - you deserved it (10836)

On 07/22/2013 at 6:14pm - love - by ihatepokemon (woman) - United States



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