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Friday 26 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML

#20815357
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43507) - you deserved it (4032)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:25pm - misc - by hangman (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I won an award for Employee of the Month. Shocked, I asked my boss if he'd gotten my name mixed up or something. He had. FML

#20797671
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43386) - you deserved it (9695)

On 07/22/2013 at 2:29pm - work - by FUCK (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at a piano lesson playing a song I had worked very hard to make perfect. Halfway through, my teacher abruptly stops me and asks, "Did you notice that I rearranged the furniture?" FML

#20811045
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43135) - you deserved it (3473)

On 07/30/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my eldest daughter has 'officially' removed herself from our family and will no longer communicate with any of us. Apparently it's my fault that her younger sister is having a baby before her, and she can't be part of a family that 'treats her so unfairly'. FML

#20803510
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42895) - you deserved it (3647)

On 07/25/2013 at 8:51pm - kids - by JealousBratMuch - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it was so hot in the un-airconditioned gym that when I got up off the floor, I slipped in my own pool of sweat and got a concussion. FML

#20800714
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42821) - you deserved it (4393)

On 07/24/2013 at 2:44am - health - by not_very_smart (woman) - United States

Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML

#20807935
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42610) - you deserved it (3129)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:23pm - work - by fuckthisandfuckthatandfuckyoutoo (man) - United States

Today, I was told that I have to apply to keep the job that I've held for the past two years. There are so many other applicants that it's basically a free-for-all. FML

#20813366
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42389) - you deserved it (3069)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:47pm - work - by TheStressComesFree (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was going so slow in traffic that my GPS asked me if I wanted to switch to pedestrian mode. FML

#20801861
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42357) - you deserved it (7604)

On 07/24/2013 at 9:31pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a call from the police. Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them. I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds. FML

#20797971
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42283) - you deserved it (4992)

On 07/22/2013 at 5:06pm - kids - by Parentalfailure (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML

#20815680
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42245) - you deserved it (8577)

On 08/01/2013 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, on his way out of our apartment, my roommate's friend reached over and grabbed a handful of my popcorn. I was only mildly annoyed, until a little later, when I pulled out from between my teeth what could only have been a pubic hair. FML

#20808032
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41823) - you deserved it (3153)

On 07/28/2013 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovenia (Ruse Commune)

Today, while using a restroom in Walmart, an old lady with a cane hobbled in screaming, "I smell someone making sin!" She would not stop tapping on the door with her cane till I came out. FML

#20808725
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41645) - you deserved it (2766)

On 07/28/2013 at 10:16pm - health - by DreamStatic - United States (Georgia)

Today, I confessed to losing my wife's engagement ring, and replacing it with a lookalike months ago. My wife also confessed that her actual engagement ring was locked in the safe, and the one I lost had been a fake. I've been paying the replacement off on my credit card for 6 months. FML

#20798091
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41474) - you deserved it (12632)

On 07/22/2013 at 6:30pm - love - by RonnieG (man) - United States (Florida)



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