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Friday 26 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying, "I'm not ready for a serious relationship." We're supposed to get married in a month. FML

#20802342
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55261) - you deserved it (3344)

On 07/25/2013 at 1:47am - love - by anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML

#20806438
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55180) - you deserved it (4254)

On 07/27/2013 at 2:31pm - kids - by poopiter (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after learning that my wife has been cheating on me, I decided to distract myself by playing The Sims. Not long after I began, my Sim's wife basically started cheating on him. FML

#20816365
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55062) - you deserved it (5836)

On 08/02/2013 at 1:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got the sex talk from my dad. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't said "It's not the size of the stick, it's how you use it." I'm a girl. FML

#20814602
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54984) - you deserved it (4538)

On 08/01/2013 at 1:10am - intimacy - by confused_girl (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML

#20813979
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54672) - you deserved it (5251)

On 07/31/2013 at 7:19pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, I found out via Instagram that my boyfriend didn't actually go to the Bahamas with his dad as he claimed. Not unless his dad lost weight, grew tits and long hair, and likes to make out with his son. They have no cellphone service, so I can't even call to break up with him. FML

#20815203
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54650) - you deserved it (3608)

On 08/01/2013 at 12:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53629) - you deserved it (8522)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, I watched my boyfriend flirt with a cashier and write down his number for her, through the liquor store window, while I sat in the car waiting for him to finish buying things for our "romantic movie night." FML

Today, I noticed fraudulent charges made in Florida that nearly drained my bank account. After reporting the fraud to the bank, I returned home from a weekend away to find a note from my husband. He and his mistress have run off to Florida to start a life together, apparently at my expense. FML

#20810887
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53245) - you deserved it (3014)

On 07/30/2013 at 1:09am - money - by brokeandalone (woman) - United States

Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. We decided to play chicken and I was on the shoulders of the guy I like. Right as we started playing, for some unearthly reason my body decided to let out a little pee. I thought he wouldn't notice since we were already wet. He did. FML

#20804466
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53125) - you deserved it (17246)

On 07/26/2013 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was in the shower, oblivious to the outside world, when four police officers who had apparently been banging at my door, entered by force. They were doing a bust on a weed farm and got the wrong house. FML

#20811532
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52935) - you deserved it (3205)

On 07/30/2013 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

#20810087
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52892) - you deserved it (12060)

On 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I received some unwanted anal sex tips. They were unwanted because I'm not into anal sex, and the tips came from my drunk mom. FML

#20806687
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52642) - you deserved it (4110)

On 07/27/2013 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by moms know best??? (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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