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Thursday 11 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to break up a fist fight between two female residents. I work in a retirement home. FML

#20791178
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42939) - you deserved it (3188)

On 07/18/2013 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I told my girlfriend about my extreme fear of flying roaches. She immediately got upset because she thought, since I'm from the Caribbean, I would be "manlier" and "eat stuff like that for breakfast". FML

#20783934
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42753) - you deserved it (4491)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:41am - misc - by sammy77sam (man) - Saint Kitts and Nevis (Saint George Basseterre)

Today, I was doing a demonstration in front of my taekwondo class because I'm flexible. Really flexible. I kneed myself in the face and broke my nose. FML

#20779010
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42725) - you deserved it (10132)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:37am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was marking exams. I then had to explain to many of the students that (a) pigs are not aquatic animals and (b) sharks do not have lungs. These are university students. FML

#20784658
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42694) - you deserved it (3707)

On 07/15/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by lame-o-prof (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, an old lady steamrolled over my foot with her wheelchair, then laughed as she slowly rolled away, leaving my toes in ruins. FML

#20788409
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42445) - you deserved it (3537)

On 07/17/2013 at 1:38pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my grandmother, who has Alzheimer's, cornered me in the kitchen and called the cops. My crime? Robbery, of my own house. FML

#20786208
64 comments

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer because her entrée was too fishy. I'm not the chef, just the waiter and I work at a fish grill. FML

#20771134
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42076) - you deserved it (2630)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:54pm - work - by NathanA - United States (California)

Today, I found out why my girlfriend has lost interest in our relationship. She's found out she likes drinking. A lot. FML

#20783573
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41987) - you deserved it (3694)

On 07/15/2013 at 2:15am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to the pool. As I started going up the steps to use the water slide, a kid no older than 10 yanked my swim trunks down to "see what's down there." FML

Today, after recovering from pneumonia and a severe asthma attack caused by my dad's fiancée's cat, he chose to keep the cat. I can't go to his house without having to go to the hospital later. FML

#20781390
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41463) - you deserved it (3536)

On 07/14/2013 at 1:35am - health - by coughcough - United States

Today, I discovered that my 8-year old is not fully toilet trained when a turd fell out of his pants, shortly after introducing him to his new babysitter. FML

#20787181
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41000) - you deserved it (8491)

On 07/16/2013 at 9:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after mowing my neighbor's lawn for 3 years for free without being asked to, he finally came out while I was in the middle of it. Expecting a "Thank you" or some cash, he instead said, "You missed a spot" and walked back inside. FML

Today, while wiping my ass, the broken finger that has been set straight dipped into the toilet and touched a turd. This keeps happening since I broke it, and I'm sure it will again. FML

#20790784
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40668) - you deserved it (11158)

On 07/18/2013 at 4:53pm - health - by broken finger (man) - United States



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