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Thursday 11 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after my parents left for the weekend, my "friends" decided to throw a party at my house despite my protests. In order to get them to leave, I called the police. I was the only one arrested, while they got warnings. FML

#20783919
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48156) - you deserved it (8469)

On 07/15/2013 at 7:46am - misc - by ugh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had my driver's test in rural Maine. I hit a cow. FML

#20777070
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48049) - you deserved it (13546)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my water broke. I called my mom, who had agreed to watch my other two kids while I went to the hospital. When I asked her to come over, she just said, "Sorry, now isn't a good time." FML

#20781242
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47828) - you deserved it (3266)

On 07/14/2013 at 12:32am - health - by Upset Mommy - United States

Today, I had to turn down an invitation to one of my best friend's birthday party because I had been scheduled to work. Little did I know that my job on that day would be setting up the tents, tables, and chairs for that very birthday party. FML

#20783466
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47737) - you deserved it (4030)

On 07/15/2013 at 1:14am - work - by Sam - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told the guy I liked about my crush on him. He said he would keep me in mind if he ever hits rock bottom. FML

#20786950
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47704) - you deserved it (3547)

On 07/16/2013 at 7:41pm - love - by hannahisacooler (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking down the street when someone pushed me into poison ivy. He ran off saying, "That's for beating me in the race." I've never been in a race, nor have I ever met him. FML

#20770379
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47655) - you deserved it (3322)

On 07/08/2013 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML

#20776430
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47529) - you deserved it (17444)

On 07/11/2013 at 7:13pm - kids - by thanks, Nemo. - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML

#20785565
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47294) - you deserved it (3156)

On 07/16/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was about to make a left turn. In the turn lane a little old lady was waiting for the light to change. On the back of her car was a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus!" I gave her a honk and waved. She leaned out and yelled, "The light's red, asshole." FML

#20786059
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47257) - you deserved it (14091)

On 07/16/2013 at 9:12am - misc - by TNDriver (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, the guy I was on a date with jokingly challenged me to an arm wrestle. I won. He left. FML

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my family. Over the next hour, a huge religious debate erupted, and my grandfather drunkenly told us all how he almost killed himself once while experimenting with auto-erotic asphyxiation. My boyfriend called us all crazy and seems to have dumped me. FML

#20788678
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47213) - you deserved it (5124)

On 07/17/2013 at 4:13pm - love - by fuck family (woman) - Poland (Dolnoslaskie)

Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML

#20777956
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47199) - you deserved it (6139)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I'd been wrong to constantly accuse next door's cat of peeing on my car every night. It was actually my 16-year-old son. FML

#20772121
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47091) - you deserved it (6538)

On 07/09/2013 at 9:35am - kids - by thecathater (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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