Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Thursday 11 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I walked to work. I later discovered that my husband had parked my car in a no-parking area. My job is towing cars. I had to tow my own car. FML

#20775203
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46125) - you deserved it (4542)

On 07/10/2013 at 11:04pm - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and my best friend making out. She claimed he was just tasting her lipstick. FML

#20784153
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46118) - you deserved it (2815)

On 07/15/2013 at 12:47pm - love - by leeceetaylor99 - United States (Texas)

Today, my pre-teen brother has started using the entire Axe line because he believes that it will give him an "edge with the ladies". He insists on using the products at least three times a day, including before bedtime. I'm allergic to anything that is perfumed. We share a room. FML

#20790014
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46063) - you deserved it (3098)

On 07/18/2013 at 5:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had my driver's test in rural Maine. I hit a cow. FML

#20777070
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45842) - you deserved it (12853)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML

#20778274
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45815) - you deserved it (6711)

On 07/12/2013 at 7:18pm - kids - by So little trust. (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my water broke. I called my mom, who had agreed to watch my other two kids while I went to the hospital. When I asked her to come over, she just said, "Sorry, now isn't a good time." FML

#20781242
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45485) - you deserved it (3096)

On 07/14/2013 at 12:32am - health - by Upset Mommy - United States

Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML

#20771337
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45204) - you deserved it (2953)

On 07/08/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by Garchomp (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML

#20777868
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45156) - you deserved it (6321)

On 07/12/2013 at 3:33pm - love - by ElodieUNU (woman) - France

Today, I had an allergy test. Not only was I allergic to 35 out of the 40 items, they also found out that I'm allergic to the latex gloves my doctor happened to be wearing. Now my entire back is covered in a rash that will last at least another week. FML

#20783362
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45153) - you deserved it (2668)

On 07/15/2013 at 12:23am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was using a public restroom. As I lowered my pants, a man's head and arms popped out over the divider. He took a picture and immediately rushed out. FML

#20779019
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45148) - you deserved it (2740)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:40am - misc - by Anna - United States (New York)

Today, my husband and I threw a party with non-alcoholic wine. No one acted wasted, until in the last hour my grandmother started slurring her words and slumping. We thought she was joking, until a doctor at the party confirmed she was having a stroke. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she felt that her puppy was lonely while we dated. FML

#20771661
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44864) - you deserved it (3874)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:38am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML

#20776430
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44774) - you deserved it (16476)

On 07/11/2013 at 7:13pm - kids - by thanks, Nemo. - United States (Wisconsin)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: