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Thursday 11 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

#20783255
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50921) - you deserved it (6475)

On 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, some guys were doing construction on my house, when one of them came over and started asking me about my "hot sister". That "sister" is my 13-year-old daughter. FML

#20781189
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50827) - you deserved it (4006)

On 07/14/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while mourning my friend's recent passing, my dad told me to shut the fuck up because "worse things are going on in the world". FML

#20782358
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50717) - you deserved it (4267)

On 07/14/2013 at 3:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and my best friend making out. She claimed he was just tasting her lipstick. FML

#20784153
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50177) - you deserved it (3446)

On 07/15/2013 at 12:47pm - love - by leeceetaylor99 - United States (Texas)

Today, one of my co-workers was fired after my manager discovered him pissing in the office coffee pot. I had three cups before I found out what had happened. FML

#20780355
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49972) - you deserved it (3987)

On 07/13/2013 at 5:10pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I finally got my laptop back after my friend broke it a few weeks ago. As I walked back into our place with my laptop in my bag, the same friend burst out and tackled me. My bag fell and slammed into the floor. Guess who has to pay for another repair. FML

#20772448
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49934) - you deserved it (4248)

On 07/09/2013 at 1:51pm - misc - by random person - United States

Today, my 11-year-old daughter heard the quote, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be." She decided to test this out by letting our new puppy out of the front door. FML

#20784969
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49863) - you deserved it (4374)

On 07/15/2013 at 8:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I placed a Bible app next to an app I use for porn, in the hope that it will encourage me to watch less porn. I'm a girl. FML

Today, my girlfriend decided to let me know that she almost left me for another guy not so long ago, because he was more handsome and talented than me. The reason she didn't leave: "He's out of my league; you're not." FML

#20777616
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49576) - you deserved it (4037)

On 07/12/2013 at 12:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I walked to work. I later discovered that my husband had parked my car in a no-parking area. My job is towing cars. I had to tow my own car. FML

#20775203
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49567) - you deserved it (5134)

On 07/10/2013 at 11:04pm - work - by Anonymous -

Today, my husband and I came clean to his overbearing parents about our private wedding. It started with them accusing him of making rash decisions, and somehow descended into an argument amongst themselves that ended with his mom deciding to divorce his dad. FML

#20786569
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49368) - you deserved it (4138)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:00pm - love - by .__. (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML

#20777868
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49072) - you deserved it (7123)

On 07/12/2013 at 3:33pm - love - by ElodieUNU (woman) - France

Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML

#20771337
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48964) - you deserved it (3238)

On 07/08/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by Garchomp (man) - United States (Kansas)



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