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Thursday 11 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got home from a week-long vacation with my friend's family. When I got back home, I found the garage door had been completely demolished. My uncontrollably drunk dad blamed me. I don't even drive. FML

#20782183
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41873) - you deserved it (2367)

On 07/14/2013 at 1:51pm - misc - by nice one - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend insisted that I start calling him "Professor Fucktard" in the bedroom. He seems to be dead serious about it. FML

#20777932
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41733) - you deserved it (5326)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by O_O (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to the pool. As I started going up the steps to use the water slide, a kid no older than 10 yanked my swim trunks down to "see what's down there." FML

Today, after recovering from pneumonia and a severe asthma attack caused by my dad's fiancée's cat, he chose to keep the cat. I can't go to his house without having to go to the hospital later. FML

#20781390
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41267) - you deserved it (3522)

On 07/14/2013 at 1:35am - health - by coughcough - United States

Today, an old lady steamrolled over my foot with her wheelchair, then laughed as she slowly rolled away, leaving my toes in ruins. FML

#20788409
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41132) - you deserved it (3438)

On 07/17/2013 at 1:38pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was doing a demonstration in front of my taekwondo class because I'm flexible. Really flexible. I kneed myself in the face and broke my nose. FML

#20779010
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40839) - you deserved it (9850)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:37am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that my 8-year old is not fully toilet trained when a turd fell out of his pants, shortly after introducing him to his new babysitter. FML

#20787181
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40784) - you deserved it (8462)

On 07/16/2013 at 9:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to break up a fist fight between two female residents. I work in a retirement home. FML

#20791178
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40698) - you deserved it (3020)

On 07/18/2013 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer because her entrée was too fishy. I'm not the chef, just the waiter and I work at a fish grill. FML

#20771134
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40596) - you deserved it (2499)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:54pm - work - by NathanA - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother, who has Alzheimer's, cornered me in the kitchen and called the cops. My crime? Robbery, of my own house. FML

#20786208
64 comments

Today, I found out why my girlfriend has lost interest in our relationship. She's found out she likes drinking. A lot. FML

#20783573
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40304) - you deserved it (3541)

On 07/15/2013 at 2:15am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while lifeguarding at my local beach, I noticed someone having difficulty swimming back to shore. I ran out and swam him back to shore. Once we were on dry land, he cussed me out for "emasculating" him in front of his girlfriend. FML

Today, after mowing my neighbor's lawn for 3 years for free without being asked to, he finally came out while I was in the middle of it. Expecting a "Thank you" or some cash, he instead said, "You missed a spot" and walked back inside. FML



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