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Thursday 11 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was marking exams. I then had to explain to many of the students that (a) pigs are not aquatic animals and (b) sharks do not have lungs. These are university students. FML

#20784658
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42516) - you deserved it (3692)

On 07/15/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by lame-o-prof (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend insisted that I start calling him "Professor Fucktard" in the bedroom. He seems to be dead serious about it. FML

#20777932
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41782) - you deserved it (5327)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by O_O (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to the pool. As I started going up the steps to use the water slide, a kid no older than 10 yanked my swim trunks down to "see what's down there." FML

Today, I had to break up a fist fight between two female residents. I work in a retirement home. FML

#20791178
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41347) - you deserved it (3066)

On 07/18/2013 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after recovering from pneumonia and a severe asthma attack caused by my dad's fiancée's cat, he chose to keep the cat. I can't go to his house without having to go to the hospital later. FML

#20781390
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41318) - you deserved it (3527)

On 07/14/2013 at 1:35am - health - by coughcough - United States

Today, I found out why my girlfriend has lost interest in our relationship. She's found out she likes drinking. A lot. FML

#20783573
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41292) - you deserved it (3625)

On 07/15/2013 at 2:15am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, an old lady steamrolled over my foot with her wheelchair, then laughed as she slowly rolled away, leaving my toes in ruins. FML

#20788409
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41192) - you deserved it (3441)

On 07/17/2013 at 1:38pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was doing a demonstration in front of my taekwondo class because I'm flexible. Really flexible. I kneed myself in the face and broke my nose. FML

#20779010
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40890) - you deserved it (9854)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:37am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that my 8-year old is not fully toilet trained when a turd fell out of his pants, shortly after introducing him to his new babysitter. FML

#20787181
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40837) - you deserved it (8471)

On 07/16/2013 at 9:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer because her entrée was too fishy. I'm not the chef, just the waiter and I work at a fish grill. FML

#20771134
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40640) - you deserved it (2499)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:54pm - work - by NathanA - United States (California)

Today, after mowing my neighbor's lawn for 3 years for free without being asked to, he finally came out while I was in the middle of it. Expecting a "Thank you" or some cash, he instead said, "You missed a spot" and walked back inside. FML

Today, my grandmother, who has Alzheimer's, cornered me in the kitchen and called the cops. My crime? Robbery, of my own house. FML

#20786208
64 comments

Today, while lifeguarding at my local beach, I noticed someone having difficulty swimming back to shore. I ran out and swam him back to shore. Once we were on dry land, he cussed me out for "emasculating" him in front of his girlfriend. FML



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