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Thursday 11 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that I'd been wrong to constantly accuse next door's cat of peeing on my car every night. It was actually my 16-year-old son. FML

#20772121
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47122) - you deserved it (6540)

On 07/09/2013 at 9:35am - kids - by thecathater (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after more than six years of working my ass off, I finally summoned the courage to ask my boss for a raise. She just chuckled, "I'm gonna need you to eat a dick, John." and stared at me unblinking until I awkwardly left. FML

#20790691
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46825) - you deserved it (3819)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:53pm - work - by no new apartment for me (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend convinced me do an Insanity workout with him. I passed out during the warmup. FML

#20776146
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46803) - you deserved it (12060)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I realized my online dating profile has gotten more views with no picture than it has with my picture. FML

#20772363
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46733) - you deserved it (5207)

On 07/09/2013 at 1:11pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was using a public restroom. As I lowered my pants, a man's head and arms popped out over the divider. He took a picture and immediately rushed out. FML

#20779019
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46586) - you deserved it (2972)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:40am - misc - by Anna - United States (New York)

Today, my coworkers glued pairs of different sized googly eyes all over my office equipment, seconds before an important client arrived. FML

#20788188
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46330) - you deserved it (3870)

On 07/17/2013 at 10:55am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. His reason was that my laugh is really annoying and makes him want to "stick a baby in a blender". FML

#20786622
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46099) - you deserved it (9015)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:32pm - love - by ... cheers (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, while visiting my grandparents, I used one of their blankets to keep warm. Later, I saw their dog getting busy with said blanket. When my grandparents saw my look of horror, they explained that he has "sexual relations" with the blanket every night. Thanks for telling me, guys. FML

#20788038
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46087) - you deserved it (3860)

On 07/17/2013 at 7:56am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to make a R.I.P. page for me on Facebook. Most liked post? "Too bad this page is fake." FML

#20771326
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46023) - you deserved it (5145)

On 07/08/2013 at 10:02pm - misc - by the hated - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I placed an order at a fast food joint, when the elderly lady behind me cussed me out for ordering the same thing she wanted. She ranted that I was a "dirty thief", while everyone else glared at me as if I was holding up the line. What the fuck? FML

#20790299
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45925) - you deserved it (2819)

On 07/18/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by dirtythief (man) - Philippines (Batangas)

Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML

#20770214
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45829) - you deserved it (4370)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:19am - animals - by PerfectTiming - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I had to get an MRI. I double and triple checked to make sure there was no out-of-pocket cost. When I arrived at the testing center, I was expected to pay full price for the test. It costs $2,360. FML

#20770351
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45762) - you deserved it (3635)

On 07/08/2013 at 10:48am - health - by insurance lies - United States

Today, I made two cakes. One for my boyfriend's birthday tomorrow, the other for my family so they wouldn't eat the birthday cake. I came home to find they ate half of each. FML



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