Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Thursday 11 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML

#20776430
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48991) - you deserved it (17939)

On 07/11/2013 at 7:13pm - kids - by thanks, Nemo. - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she felt that her puppy was lonely while we dated. FML

#20771661
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48756) - you deserved it (4606)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:38am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I told the guy I liked about my crush on him. He said he would keep me in mind if he ever hits rock bottom. FML

#20786950
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48659) - you deserved it (3631)

On 07/16/2013 at 7:41pm - love - by hannahisacooler (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally convinced my mum to take me to a psychologist. As soon as he sat me down and asked me how I was doing, my mum burst into tears and went on a rant about how her life is terrible and she regrets everything. I was asked to sit in the waiting room. She used up my whole hour. FML

#20787656
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48651) - you deserved it (3241)

On 07/17/2013 at 1:22am - health - by :-( - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. His reason was that my laugh is really annoying and makes him want to "stick a baby in a blender". FML

#20786622
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48547) - you deserved it (9371)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:32pm - love - by ... cheers (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML

#20778274
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48439) - you deserved it (7067)

On 07/12/2013 at 7:18pm - kids - by So little trust. (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at a music festival, and my mum had told me not to to drink. Someone threw a cup of beer at me, and I was worried about smelling of alcohol. It's okay though, because a second cup of urine took the alcohol smell right away. FML

#20779336
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48235) - you deserved it (3998)

On 07/13/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Festivaler - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, I realized my online dating profile has gotten more views with no picture than it has with my picture. FML

#20772363
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47982) - you deserved it (5338)

On 07/09/2013 at 1:11pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking down the street when someone pushed me into poison ivy. He ran off saying, "That's for beating me in the race." I've never been in a race, nor have I ever met him. FML

#20770379
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47883) - you deserved it (3338)

On 07/08/2013 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my water broke. I called my mom, who had agreed to watch my other two kids while I went to the hospital. When I asked her to come over, she just said, "Sorry, now isn't a good time." FML

#20781242
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47868) - you deserved it (3271)

On 07/14/2013 at 12:32am - health - by Upset Mommy - United States

Today, I had to turn down an invitation to one of my best friend's birthday party because I had been scheduled to work. Little did I know that my job on that day would be setting up the tents, tables, and chairs for that very birthday party. FML

#20783466
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47769) - you deserved it (4033)

On 07/15/2013 at 1:14am - work - by Sam - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking down the street and saw a man trip over a sign. He then grabbed his cane, started screaming, and began beating the sign. Apparently that didn't release his anger, so he began to beat the nearest car. I thought it was hilarious, until I noticed it was my car. FML

#20774578
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47625) - you deserved it (9670)

On 07/10/2013 at 4:10pm - misc - by mylifesucks - United States (Georgia)

Today, the guy I was on a date with jokingly challenged me to an arm wrestle. I won. He left. FML



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: