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Thursday 11 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to turn down an invitation to one of my best friend's birthday party because I had been scheduled to work. Little did I know that my job on that day would be setting up the tents, tables, and chairs for that very birthday party. FML

#20783466
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47598) - you deserved it (4019)

On 07/15/2013 at 1:14am - work - by Sam - United States (Illinois)

Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML

#20776430
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47403) - you deserved it (17414)

On 07/11/2013 at 7:13pm - kids - by thanks, Nemo. - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I told the guy I liked about my crush on him. He said he would keep me in mind if he ever hits rock bottom. FML

#20786950
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47285) - you deserved it (3512)

On 07/16/2013 at 7:41pm - love - by hannahisacooler (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of over a year has been cheating on me the whole time, but that "it's just physical". However, he doesn't want to do anything "physical" with me, except cuddle when we're together. FML

#20774465
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47060) - you deserved it (4329)

On 07/10/2013 at 3:08pm - love - by heartbroken (woman) - Australia

Today, I found out that I'd been wrong to constantly accuse next door's cat of peeing on my car every night. It was actually my 16-year-old son. FML

#20772121
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46973) - you deserved it (6525)

On 07/09/2013 at 9:35am - kids - by thecathater (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML

#20774202
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46929) - you deserved it (3315)

On 07/10/2013 at 12:33pm - misc - by my honest father - United States (Kansas)

Today, I politely asked a man to not sleep on a tram stop that I had to clean. He got up, and while I leaned forward to pick up some trash from the ground nearby, I felt a warm stream on my back. Now I can't get the smell of urine off my clothes. FML

#20769987
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46913) - you deserved it (4190)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:57am - work - by FUCK.THIS.JOB. (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, after more than six years of working my ass off, I finally summoned the courage to ask my boss for a raise. She just chuckled, "I'm gonna need you to eat a dick, John." and stared at me unblinking until I awkwardly left. FML

#20790691
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46658) - you deserved it (3806)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:53pm - work - by no new apartment for me (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I realized my online dating profile has gotten more views with no picture than it has with my picture. FML

#20772363
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46573) - you deserved it (5191)

On 07/09/2013 at 1:11pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML

#20784225
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46527) - you deserved it (4187)

On 07/15/2013 at 1:25pm - misc - by helpme - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML

#20777956
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46507) - you deserved it (6055)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was using a public restroom. As I lowered my pants, a man's head and arms popped out over the divider. He took a picture and immediately rushed out. FML

#20779019
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46447) - you deserved it (2853)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:40am - misc - by Anna - United States (New York)

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my family. Over the next hour, a huge religious debate erupted, and my grandfather drunkenly told us all how he almost killed himself once while experimenting with auto-erotic asphyxiation. My boyfriend called us all crazy and seems to have dumped me. FML

#20788678
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46225) - you deserved it (5027)

On 07/17/2013 at 4:13pm - love - by fuck family (woman) - Poland (Dolnoslaskie)



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