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Thursday 11 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML

#20790198
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51895) - you deserved it (3873)

On 07/18/2013 at 10:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I felt lousy and decided to give myself a pep-talk in the mirror. After a while, I cheered up and went about my day. I soon found out that my sister had recorded me through the crack of my door and posted the video on Facebook. I'm humiliated. FML

#20777975
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51717) - you deserved it (6054)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:40pm - misc - by Suomynona (man) - Germany (Hamburg)

Today, I got head lice, so I went to a store to buy medicated shampoo. When checking out the cashier saw my shampoo and asked me to leave immediately to protect the other customers. He didn't let me buy the shampoo. FML

#20775381
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51341) - you deserved it (2999)

On 07/11/2013 at 12:52am - health - by frustrated - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was at the park playing Frisbee with my friends, when I saw a boy sitting on a bench looking rather sad. "Hey!" I yelled, and he looked up at me. I lightly threw the Frisbee in his direction, and it hit him in the face. He was blind. FML

#20788974
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51306) - you deserved it (15831)

On 07/17/2013 at 7:15pm - kids - by WasntMe - United States

Today, my girlfriend of six weeks dumped me when she learned that Macedonia, where I was born, is in Europe. Apparently, she thought that I was "Asian" and she doesn't want to date a "white guy." Yeah, I'm totally confused too. FML

#20782409
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50695) - you deserved it (3312)

On 07/14/2013 at 4:08pm - love - by WTF (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while at the doctor's, a week overdue with my first child, I was told that sex and orgasms can sometimes help to induce labor. On the way home, my boyfriend asked for road head, arguing that "She said that stuff about orgasms." Not you, honey. FML

#20770510
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50305) - you deserved it (5052)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by realitybites (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML

#20772281
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50034) - you deserved it (20069)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask my crush to a movie. What I didn't realise is that she would bring a "friend" along, and that I would have to sit next to them making out for 2 hours. FML

#20772026
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49148) - you deserved it (3755)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:05am - love - by thirdwheel - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48740) - you deserved it (4019)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)

Today, I finally got my laptop back after my friend broke it a few weeks ago. As I walked back into our place with my laptop in my bag, the same friend burst out and tackled me. My bag fell and slammed into the floor. Guess who has to pay for another repair. FML

#20772448
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48716) - you deserved it (4120)

On 07/09/2013 at 1:51pm - misc - by random person - United States

Today, I was stumbling down the street due to arthritic pain, when I accidentally bumped into a man. He turned and yelled, "Watch it, you clumsy, ugly bitch", to which I apologised and told him about my arthritis. He stared at me in confusion, then said, "Well, you're still ugly", and walked off. FML

#20785828
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48682) - you deserved it (3298)

On 07/16/2013 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while mourning my friend's recent passing, my dad told me to shut the fuck up because "worse things are going on in the world". FML

#20782358
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48479) - you deserved it (4073)

On 07/14/2013 at 3:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I woke up with horrible pain in my gut. It got worse and worse, and I started vomiting from the pain. My mom said it was flu and that I needed to "man up." It turned out to be appendicitis, and I'm now typing this from my hospital bed. FML

#20777668
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48245) - you deserved it (2326)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:28pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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