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Monday 1 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook as she did not like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML

#20761484
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70095) - you deserved it (4520)

On 07/03/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Nicks - United States (Nevada)

Today, I got home from work early and discovered why my 17-year-old daughter's sprained elbow isn't getting any better after weeks of treatment. She can't stop giving handjobs. FML

#20764944
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69056) - you deserved it (8116)

On 07/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I discovered that when my husband agreed to donate sperm so an infertile friend and his wife could have children, there was nothing "artificial" about the insemination. FML

#20762781
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67636) - you deserved it (5853)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by OnPlanetVenus (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I saw my older sister for the first time in three years. We hadn't spoke since I found out that she was the woman my college boyfriend left me for. Unfortunately, our reunion was fueled by her two-year-old son's desire to meet his dad. My husband. FML

#20760666
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66079) - you deserved it (5300)

On 07/02/2013 at 10:39pm - love - by Jenn (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was going to fight the guy who my girlfriend left me for. While waiting at the park, he sent me a video of the two of them having sex on my bed. FML

#20768398
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65979) - you deserved it (21457)

On 07/07/2013 at 8:35am - love - by SimG (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my parents spent all of the money in my college fund to pay for my cat to be flown to LA and audition for a movie. FML

#20764588
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64775) - you deserved it (3765)

On 07/05/2013 at 2:11am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

#20763013
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61916) - you deserved it (11601)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States

Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Ahh, salmon. The 'other' pink meat", then winked suggestively at my mother. I don't think I can ever eat fish again. FML

#20763590
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60001) - you deserved it (4759)

On 07/04/2013 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, while at the doctor's, a week overdue with my first child, I was told that sex and orgasms can sometimes help to induce labor. On the way home, my boyfriend asked for road head, arguing that "She said that stuff about orgasms." Not you, honey. FML

#20770510
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56815) - you deserved it (6789)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by realitybites (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML

#20758014
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55479) - you deserved it (5974)

On 07/01/2013 at 2:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

#20767385
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55311) - you deserved it (7775)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by hamburger - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband received the "antique" samurai sword that he bought on Craigslist with $399.99 of our money. He only shared my outrage at the waste of money when he opened the package, only to find a toy sword along with a note saying, "HAHA, TROLLED." FML

#20767253
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55223) - you deserved it (9774)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:45pm - money - by juliearis (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55199) - you deserved it (9458)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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