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Saturday 29 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML

#20751604
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40884) - you deserved it (5208)

On 06/27/2013 at 11:57pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my house was egged while I went out shopping. When I told my dad about it, he immediately and casually admitted to being the one who did it, asking, "You got a fucking problem with that, son?" I don't know if he's just messing with my head, or if he really did do it. FML

#20756478
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40860) - you deserved it (3340)

On 06/30/2013 at 6:08pm - misc - by thefuck (man) - Ireland (Cavan)

Today, my daughter's obsession with Canada got out way of hand when she was suspended for climbing up the flagpole, in an attempt to replace the flag with a red-and-white maple leaf one. FML

Today, a drunk driver drove his car through my mailbox. He got pissed, started yelling, and threatened to sue me for "putting the mailbox in the middle of the road". If my front lawn is a road, I'm going to have some serious issues. FML

#20754226
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40693) - you deserved it (2405)

On 06/29/2013 at 12:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I saw my former high school teacher at the mall. After a nice conversation, she mentioned that I "still dress like a slut." FML

#20757992
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40658) - you deserved it (19829)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got shut in the walk-in freezer at work. I started banging on the door. My boss wouldn't come and open it because she didn't "play games". She thought I was kidding. FML

#20760145
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40631) - you deserved it (2818)

On 07/02/2013 at 5:08pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, while life-guarding in a 55+ community, I greeted a man by saying: "Good morning Sir!" He responded with, "Cut the shit kid, I'm not that fucking old." FML

#20746882
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40520) - you deserved it (5619)

On 06/25/2013 at 5:45pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to go to therapy for my fear of cats. All the way there, my girlfriend kept making cat noises and scratching at me. FML

#20748338
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40344) - you deserved it (7789)

On 06/26/2013 at 12:42pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I received a lovely letter from the council telling me I have to cease the act of "breeding and selling cats" because someone from my Facebook reported me. I'm pretty sure I've never owned a cat or had one in my house. FML

#20764172
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40340) - you deserved it (2584)

On 07/04/2013 at 10:26pm - misc - by suspicious (woman) - United States

Today, I was taking some clothes downstairs to wash, when my mum stopped me. She accused me of sleeping around and trying to hide something, since she did the washing yesterday. She made me admit in front of the whole family that I'd been "surprised" by a case of diarrhea. FML

#20761546
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40190) - you deserved it (2693)

On 07/03/2013 at 12:19pm - health - by ToiletTroubles (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, a girl I met recently asked if I wanted to go jogging with her, and I excitedly agreed. A while into our run, I ran out of breath and doubled over panting, all while she kept jogging and slowly disappeared down the street. What a way to spend time together. FML

#20765072
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40140) - you deserved it (8536)

On 07/05/2013 at 12:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML

#20757330
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39947) - you deserved it (5070)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:49am - work - by Neveragain (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my manager made me remove an Eiffel Tower ornament from one of my displays. Not because it didn't look good or match the theme, but because it was "disrespectful" to have it out on the 4th of July. FML

#20763233
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39796) - you deserved it (7556)

On 07/04/2013 at 9:13am - work - by unpatriotic (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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