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Saturday 29 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to get new shoes. I'm a pretty tall girl and I have proportional feet. I asked the cute guy who worked there for a size 9.5. He burst into laughter before putting on a shocked face and saying, "Oh wait... You're serious." Goodbye, self esteem. FML

#20757181
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42409) - you deserved it (2755)

On 07/01/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by theyre not THAT big. (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML

#20748724
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42180) - you deserved it (4616)

On 06/26/2013 at 4:33pm - intimacy - by theunluckylifeofme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was going to set up my air conditioner in the window. As I opened up the window, I must have disturbed a wasp nest, because a dozen wasps flew in and several of them stung me. The rest are now somewhere in my house with my terrified girlfriend. FML

#20748461
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41725) - you deserved it (3742)

On 06/26/2013 at 1:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to change the language setting on my phone to Mandarin. Unfortunately, neither of us knows Mandarin, and we can't change it back to English. FML

#20753667
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41509) - you deserved it (8167)

On 06/29/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by damniphone - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I sneezed so hard that I threw my back out. Now my back is in agonizing pain, and I can barely walk. FML

#20755309
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41269) - you deserved it (4627)

On 06/30/2013 at 12:36am - health - by TooYoungForThis - Canada

Today, at work, I politely asked a patron to be quieter; I was hit in the face. I work in a library. FML

#20750109
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41196) - you deserved it (3502)

On 06/27/2013 at 11:02am - work - by rubgy_lover - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

#20750993
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41196) - you deserved it (2968)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by keiran123 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I had to explain to a coworker that "the little red X" next to the email title she's been pushing out of curiosity is actually the delete button. Then, I had to restore the dozen emails she'd deleted even after I told her to stop. She's a manager. I stock shelves for a living. FML

#20758316
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40924) - you deserved it (2292)

On 07/01/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I overheard my dad telling my mum that the only way I'm ever going to get into a relationship is if I "pose as a woman and con some gullible bastard online." He's probably right. FML

#20754680
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40906) - you deserved it (4533)

On 06/29/2013 at 5:49pm - love - by cheerbabeXoXo (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML

#20751604
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40844) - you deserved it (5203)

On 06/27/2013 at 11:57pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my house was egged while I went out shopping. When I told my dad about it, he immediately and casually admitted to being the one who did it, asking, "You got a fucking problem with that, son?" I don't know if he's just messing with my head, or if he really did do it. FML

#20756478
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40817) - you deserved it (3339)

On 06/30/2013 at 6:08pm - misc - by thefuck (man) - Ireland (Cavan)

Today, I got harassed and screamed at by a middle-aged man for parking in a spot close to the store, because he wanted the same spot so he didn't have to walk so far with his groceries. He took a photo and vowed to report me to the authorities. FML

#20746334
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40782) - you deserved it (3605)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:23pm - work - by couch girl - Singapore

Today, a wasp flew into my car. In my frantic attempt to get away from it, I got pulled over and had to prove I was driving sober. FML



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