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Saturday 29 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, the massive bogey that had been dangling precariously from my manager's nose for half an hour finally detached itself. Into my coffee. FML

#20761277
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44537) - you deserved it (4845)

On 07/03/2013 at 5:09am - work - by melons (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today while at my job as a store clerk, I walked by a family. I smiled at their little boy, who responded by flipping me off. As I was walking away, I looked back in time to catch his dad give him a high-five. FML

#20761229
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44385) - you deserved it (3715)

On 07/03/2013 at 4:11am - kids - by Nish (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was sitting at my favorite coffee shop, when a creepy 50-ish looking guy sat at my table. He asked if I'm into submissive guys, and if I wanted to dominate him. I'm a 17-year-old girl, and am now scared to ever go back there. FML

#20754256
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44320) - you deserved it (2625)

On 06/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by perdix??? (woman) - Czech Republic

Today, I woke up at my cousin's house after staying the night. I went into the bathroom like I usually do and shut the door. Apparently the door lock on this bathroom doesn't function properly. I discovered this when my 4-year-old cousin walked in on me putting a tampon in. FML

Today, my step-dad tried to talk me into getting plastic surgery. His reasoning: "Let's face it, 28 and single? Look, I know your mum gave you shitty genes, but that's no excuse to avoid fixing your face, honey." FML

#20765605
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44251) - you deserved it (3050)

On 07/05/2013 at 5:37pm - misc - by buttuglyforeveralone :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Merthyr Tydfil)

Today, my ten-year-old brother came to visit me in NYC. Within ten minutes of walking on Times Square he had seen a prostitute and a partially-naked man. He now refuses to leave my apartment and screams when I try to drag him out. He's here for the next two weeks. FML

#20744309
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44111) - you deserved it (4381)

On 06/24/2013 at 10:06am - kids - by NYCproblems - United States (New York)

Today, I bought some makeup supplies at the supermarket. The cashier snorted and muttered, "Not enough in the world for you." FML

#20756122
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44025) - you deserved it (3504)

On 06/30/2013 at 2:09pm - misc - by foreversingle (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, my 7-year-old sister had a nightmare, so I let her sleep in my bed. I woke up to her punching me in the face and giving me a black eye. Apparently, she not only screams when she's having a nightmare, she also "gives the bad guy a taste of his own medicine." FML

#20759842
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43956) - you deserved it (4292)

On 07/02/2013 at 1:39pm - health - by good big sister? (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was accused of shooting drugs at work. I was only feeding a baby bird that was tucked into my arm using a medicine syringe. I've been smuggling it to work because it has to eat every 2 hours or it will starve. Now everyone there thinks I'm a hardcore dope fiend. FML

#20751061
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43928) - you deserved it (7960)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:56pm - animals - by Gribby - United States (Missouri)

Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML

#20746329
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43888) - you deserved it (5832)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I foolishly thought that I was alone in the house, and let out a huge fart on the toilet. This went on for a while due to an upset stomach. I later walked into the living room only to find my parents and a few of their friends sitting on the couch, teary-eyed from laughing so much. FML

Today, I faced my severe phobia of spiders in order to remove a rather large one from my home. After 20 minutes of desperate struggling, it was finally taken care of. Relieved, I sat down and glanced across the hallway just in time to see a second, equally large spider strutting across the wall. FML

Today, I returned home from an extended vacation only to find out my cousin wasn't kidding when he said he was going to steal my boyfriend. I thought I was dating a straight guy. FML

#20761976
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43341) - you deserved it (3196)

On 07/03/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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