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Saturday 29 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old son apparently practicing his oral sex skills on the crotch of one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML

#20765717
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46793) - you deserved it (4123)

On 07/05/2013 at 6:45pm - kids - by The fuck, junior? (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

#20759121
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46660) - you deserved it (11247)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by yeshehaspornaddiction (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, a girl from my college, who's been following me around for months, finally asked me out. Not being interested, I politely declined. Now she's convinced everyone that we hooked up and that I have an incredibly small penis. FML

#20752684
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46507) - you deserved it (6670)

On 06/28/2013 at 3:41pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my house was broken into. The burglar didn't steal my brand new laptop, iPad or TV. They instead made off with every single item of clothing I own. When I went to turn on my TV to try and distract myself from this, I found all of the cables in back missing. The police don't believe me. FML

#20753916
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46276) - you deserved it (2454)

On 06/29/2013 at 5:55am - misc - by Angry and Confused - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found my cat dead on the road. I called my family and told them, and later buried the cat. Not long after I got done burying it, my cat walked up to me. I buried someone else's cat. FML

#20757856
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46181) - you deserved it (9682)

On 07/01/2013 at 12:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML

#20750694
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45996) - you deserved it (5722)

On 06/27/2013 at 4:27pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML

#20766730
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45992) - you deserved it (6151)

On 07/06/2013 at 7:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML

#20755283
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45945) - you deserved it (2919)

On 06/30/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by whipplewhip - United States

Today, I'm left with two non-refundable tickets to Jamaica, because my now ex-boyfriend said his Quidditch tournament is more important than seeing my "fat ass in a bikini". FML

#20745099
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45883) - you deserved it (5705)

On 06/24/2013 at 7:24pm - love - by afraid of flying too - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that my mom bet my dad $100 that she could pay my boyfriend ten bucks to break up with me. She is now $90 richer. FML

#20760905
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45679) - you deserved it (3002)

On 07/03/2013 at 12:26am - money - by Forever Alone (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML

#20745866
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45338) - you deserved it (7863)

On 06/25/2013 at 2:12am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

#20744476
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45236) - you deserved it (12833)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - Belgium



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