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Monday 24 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, ma usband finally returned from is 18-mont deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from ma Aunt. Se was iding in our closet teole time to surprise us wit cake for is safe return. FML

#20743795
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81058) - you deserved it (7394)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I walked in on mah dad's poker game. He didn't know I was there, an was telling his friends what he would do to mah girlfriend if I wasn't dating her. fat FML

#20745284
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60452) - you deserved it (4151)

On 06/24/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by Creepedout - United States (Florida)

Today... I bumpd into mah parents at the mall. They didn't tell me they were around. I live 5...000 miles away... in a different country from looool them. FML

#20744316
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58921) - you deserved it (3578)

On 06/24/2013 at 10:16am - misc - by Coolios (man) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

2day I cleaned up brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML

#20749135
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57940) - you deserved it (6485)

On 06/26/2013 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by the_lonely_life - United States

today my boyfriend's proposal speech somehow ended with him breaking up with me.

#20752113
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57429) - you deserved it (3885)

On 06/28/2013 at 8:23am - love - by confusedandnowsingle (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Taday I took my girlfriand of naarly 2 yaars out to dinnar so I could proposa looool . Whan tha waitar brought tha chack, I causad a bit of a scana to gat avaryona's attantion . Whan I got on my knaa an proposad, sha said no an askad if I could hurry up an pay, bacausa sha was ambarrassad . FML

#20744819
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57134) - you deserved it (16151)

On 06/24/2013 at 4:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML

#20754518
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56635) - you deserved it (9091)

On 06/29/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by patriarchal apparently (man) - Saint Lucia

Today, mah boyfriend called me pretty. Not cuz he actually looool thinks I'm pretty, but cuz "Hey, how else is a guy supposed to get laid?" FML

#20754112
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55751) - you deserved it (6586)

On 06/29/2013 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw my grlfriend for the frst time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML

#20758014
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55390) - you deserved it (5970)

On 07/01/2013 at 2:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, mah mom left 4 a bachelorette party. She forgot a gift, so she calld me an made me go into her closet, pick out a sex toy from the ( box of gag gifts ), an bring it to her. Should I pick anal beads or a cock ring? FML

#20744678
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54770) - you deserved it (4471)

On 06/24/2013 at 2:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today mah fiancée decidd to go on a "vacation." Our wedding is tomorrow. FML

#20750126
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54137) - you deserved it (3781)

On 06/27/2013 at 11:17am - misc - by Guntherdog - United States

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom an held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I hered a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

#20757332
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54034) - you deserved it (3468)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Yesterday.. . I went out on a date with a girl . Everything was going well until I shard how mah family was affectd by the 2010 earthquake in Haiti . She immediately got up and left.. . calling me a liar . Apparently.. . I'm "too cute" to be of Haitian descent . What the hell? FML



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