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Saturday 18 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I stepped out of the kitchen to yell at my kids for running in the house. I had just mopped the floor, and did not want them to fall. I fell while yelling and twisted my ankle. At least they know it's dangerous now. FML

#20667457
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39353) - you deserved it (8826)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:50pm - kids - by meepdaleap - United States (Virginia)

Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML

#20675279
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39349) - you deserved it (2976)

On 05/20/2013 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went for a walk. When it started pouring, I ran under the nearest tree for protection. It didn't occur to me that it might look suspicious hiding under a stranger's tree in a black hoodie, until the cops showed up. FML

#20673625
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39130) - you deserved it (5391)

On 05/19/2013 at 7:07pm - misc - by black hoodie - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up and went into my living room, only to be greeted by my aunt, sister, and mother watching a very graphic video showing women giving birth. They forced me to stay and watch it until the end. It was almost 90 minutes. FML

#20672345
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38936) - you deserved it (4797)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:30am - misc - by dafuqdidisee (man) - United States (California)

Today, I received a notice that if I don't move the abandoned vehicle from outside my house it will be repossessed at my expense. My car isn't abandoned. FML

#20662395
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38851) - you deserved it (3823)

On 05/14/2013 at 1:29am - misc - by CrappyCar (woman) - United States

Today I returned home after a semester at university. I guess I did too good a job of getting into shape as my parents phoned the police, thinking I was a burglar. FML

#20679356
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38781) - you deserved it (3397)

On 05/22/2013 at 5:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML

#20661280
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38585) - you deserved it (3946)

On 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I got my third promotion at work in as many years. My husband congratulated me very briefly, before asking if this meant he no longer had to look for a job. FML

#20671146
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38183) - you deserved it (4649)

On 05/18/2013 at 3:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Guanajuato)

Today, due to my allergies I can't stop sneezing. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for my hemorrhoids making each sneeze feel like I'm getting a cactus shoved up my ass. FML

#20679212
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38170) - you deserved it (3449)

On 05/22/2013 at 1:38am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my new neighbor moved in. Because she was fairly young, I offered to mow her grass whenever it needed cut. Her dad then tried to start a fight with me because he thought it was sexual come-on. FML

#20663640
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38122) - you deserved it (6411)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:52pm - misc - by Brenden - United States (Ohio)

Today, I gave my boss a gift card as a late birthday present, since I wasn't in the office on his actual birthday. He accused me of trying to bribe my way to a promotion, and suspended me on the spot. FML

#20660668
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38030) - you deserved it (3817)

On 05/13/2013 at 12:01pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML

#20660573
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38000) - you deserved it (6660)

On 05/13/2013 at 10:16am - money - by psychopumpkin - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, I discovered that the "dish soap" my sister uses to clean our dishes when it's her turn, is actually a semi-toxic floor cleaner. FML

#20661400
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37824) - you deserved it (2606)

On 05/13/2013 at 7:05pm - misc - by emmingle - Canada (British Columbia)



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