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Saturday 18 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML

#20660172
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41044) - you deserved it (4829)

On 05/13/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was ditched by the guy I flew over two thousand miles to see. His excuse? "I'm just tired. I want to go home and sleep" Later, he checked in at a bar right down the street from the hotel on Facebook. FML

#20681237
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40829) - you deserved it (5082)

On 05/23/2013 at 3:13am - love - by phoenixditch - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got my third promotion at work in as many years. My husband congratulated me very briefly, before asking if this meant he no longer had to look for a job. FML

#20671146
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40757) - you deserved it (4862)

On 05/18/2013 at 3:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Guanajuato)

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML

#20661280
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40743) - you deserved it (4153)

On 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I went for a walk. When it started pouring, I ran under the nearest tree for protection. It didn't occur to me that it might look suspicious hiding under a stranger's tree in a black hoodie, until the cops showed up. FML

#20673625
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40732) - you deserved it (5588)

On 05/19/2013 at 7:07pm - misc - by black hoodie - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my new neighbor moved in. Because she was fairly young, I offered to mow her grass whenever it needed cut. Her dad then tried to start a fight with me because he thought it was sexual come-on. FML

#20663640
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40651) - you deserved it (6701)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:52pm - misc - by Brenden - United States (Ohio)

Today, I received a notice that if I don't move the abandoned vehicle from outside my house it will be repossessed at my expense. My car isn't abandoned. FML

#20662395
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40494) - you deserved it (3962)

On 05/14/2013 at 1:29am - misc - by CrappyCar (woman) - United States

Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML

#20660573
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40412) - you deserved it (6986)

On 05/13/2013 at 10:16am - money - by psychopumpkin - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, I got a new cat. It was fine for a couple of hours until it gave birth in my kitchen. The seller claims to have no idea that it was pregnant. Now I have to take care of 7 cats instead of 2. FML

#20676137
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40334) - you deserved it (6421)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:23pm - animals - by catcraze - United States (Colorado)

Today, due to my allergies I can't stop sneezing. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for my hemorrhoids making each sneeze feel like I'm getting a cactus shoved up my ass. FML

#20679212
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40145) - you deserved it (3616)

On 05/22/2013 at 1:38am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I gave my boss a gift card as a late birthday present, since I wasn't in the office on his actual birthday. He accused me of trying to bribe my way to a promotion, and suspended me on the spot. FML

#20660668
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39872) - you deserved it (3964)

On 05/13/2013 at 12:01pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, in preparation for a third interview for my dream job, I spent an hour selecting the perfect outfit. I hung everything on my bedroom door and went to shower. My dog decided to play tug-of-war with the clothing and redesign the shoes. The only thing to survive unscathed was the hanger. FML

#20681337
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39871) - you deserved it (7022)

On 05/23/2013 at 6:52am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up and went into my living room, only to be greeted by my aunt, sister, and mother watching a very graphic video showing women giving birth. They forced me to stay and watch it until the end. It was almost 90 minutes. FML

#20672345
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39800) - you deserved it (4872)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:30am - misc - by dafuqdidisee (man) - United States (California)



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