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Saturday 18 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML

#20661280
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40676) - you deserved it (4152)

On 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I went for a walk. When it started pouring, I ran under the nearest tree for protection. It didn't occur to me that it might look suspicious hiding under a stranger's tree in a black hoodie, until the cops showed up. FML

#20673625
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40671) - you deserved it (5581)

On 05/19/2013 at 7:07pm - misc - by black hoodie - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I received a notice that if I don't move the abandoned vehicle from outside my house it will be repossessed at my expense. My car isn't abandoned. FML

#20662395
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40418) - you deserved it (3957)

On 05/14/2013 at 1:29am - misc - by CrappyCar (woman) - United States

Today, due to my allergies I can't stop sneezing. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for my hemorrhoids making each sneeze feel like I'm getting a cactus shoved up my ass. FML

#20679212
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40078) - you deserved it (3612)

On 05/22/2013 at 1:38am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got my nails, hair, and makeup professionally done for prom. My dad got his camera out, and I presumed he was taking pictures of my date and me. When I looked at the pictures later, they were all of the dog. FML

#20673563
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39998) - you deserved it (3922)

On 05/19/2013 at 6:33pm - animals - by rach (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my new neighbor moved in. Because she was fairly young, I offered to mow her grass whenever it needed cut. Her dad then tried to start a fight with me because he thought it was sexual come-on. FML

#20663640
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39975) - you deserved it (6633)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:52pm - misc - by Brenden - United States (Ohio)

Today, I gave my boss a gift card as a late birthday present, since I wasn't in the office on his actual birthday. He accused me of trying to bribe my way to a promotion, and suspended me on the spot. FML

#20660668
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39804) - you deserved it (3955)

On 05/13/2013 at 12:01pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got an email saying the gift I'd ordered for my boyfriend of three years had been sent. I ordered it a couple of days ago because I thought he needed cheering up. I guess he found a better way of doing so himself; he broke up with me yesterday. FML

#20677289
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39804) - you deserved it (2835)

On 05/21/2013 at 6:24am - love - by moikristine - Norway (Akershus)

Today, I got my third promotion at work in as many years. My husband congratulated me very briefly, before asking if this meant he no longer had to look for a job. FML

#20671146
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39750) - you deserved it (4782)

On 05/18/2013 at 3:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Guanajuato)

Today, I woke up and went into my living room, only to be greeted by my aunt, sister, and mother watching a very graphic video showing women giving birth. They forced me to stay and watch it until the end. It was almost 90 minutes. FML

#20672345
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39739) - you deserved it (4868)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:30am - misc - by dafuqdidisee (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was dancing in the passenger seat of my car with my family when a cop pulled us over. He thought I was trying to flag him down for help. I guess I'm not as good of a dancer as I thought. FML

#20662599
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39231) - you deserved it (12528)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:32am - misc - by ktorih137 - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I discovered that the "dish soap" my sister uses to clean our dishes when it's her turn, is actually a semi-toxic floor cleaner. FML

#20661400
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39192) - you deserved it (2716)

On 05/13/2013 at 7:05pm - misc - by emmingle - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I awoke from a dream that I'd found an Arco gas station that had regular gas for $3.38. I actually went looking for it. FML

#20679582
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39148) - you deserved it (10064)

On 05/22/2013 at 10:51am - money - by maarkblack (man) - United States



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