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Saturday 18 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I lent a pair of expensive headphones to a "friend" for the weekend. As a thank-you, he bought me a soda. He moved this weekend, taking the headphones with him. I lost a $250 pair of headphones for a $1 soda. FML

#20672107
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38499) - you deserved it (18932)

On 05/19/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I reconnected with my best friend from childhood, and after a tearful confession, found out that for most of my engagement to my husband, she was repeatedly connecting with his penis. FML

#20672990
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38492) - you deserved it (2525)

On 05/19/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I went for an interview regarding a seasonal position I'd been offered at a grocery store. The manager showed up 45 minutes past the scheduled interview time, cheerfully greeted me, and took me back to his office, just to tell me that they don't hire seasonal help. Ever. FML

#20671268
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38461) - you deserved it (2862)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by ineedayob (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML

#20673056
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38362) - you deserved it (7784)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:02pm - love - by SariLone (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I stepped out of the kitchen to yell at my kids for running in the house. I had just mopped the floor, and did not want them to fall. I fell while yelling and twisted my ankle. At least they know it's dangerous now. FML

#20667457
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38294) - you deserved it (8670)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:50pm - kids - by meepdaleap - United States (Virginia)

Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML

#20675279
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38159) - you deserved it (2873)

On 05/20/2013 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. I slipped a ruler into it and started scratching to relieve the itch. Part of the ruler ended up snapping off inside. FML

#20669324
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37973) - you deserved it (12722)

On 05/17/2013 at 4:49pm - health - by sprainedankle - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML

#20684326
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37732) - you deserved it (5924)

On 05/24/2013 at 7:42pm - love - by yesguysgetabusedtoo (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was torn from my car and slammed against the hood because a canister of window-cleaning wipes I keep in my glove compartment apparently looks vaguely like a pipe-bomb. My lawyer agreed with the cops, and won't handle the "excessive force" case I threatened the police with. FML

#20683298
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37689) - you deserved it (3355)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:42am - misc - by JDziewaltowski (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML

#20660172
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37671) - you deserved it (4530)

On 05/13/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I posted a Facebook status about how I hoped to spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend. A couple of hours later, I saw a comment on it saying he'd never done anything bad enough to deserve that kind of torment. Thanks, mom. FML

#20664946
78 comments

Today, I called my mother to tell her that I got engaged. In the 15 minute conversation that followed, 13 were spent listening to how this is going to affect her. FML

#20665269
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37102) - you deserved it (2718)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, for the fourth time this week, I witnessed my mother dancing around the house naked. Apparently, she is loosening up her "inner nudist" and isn't planning on stopping any time soon. FML

#20679387
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37028) - you deserved it (2992)

On 05/22/2013 at 6:56am - misc - by stillhave2years - United States



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