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Saturday 18 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML

#20660456
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46833) - you deserved it (8985)

On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, and throughout the past week, my electricity, water, cable, and Internet were progressively shut off. Why? Because my deranged mother-in-law has been stealing the money orders I use to pay my bills out of my mailbox. She also stole the late notices because she didn't want me to be "mad". FML

#20678301
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46770) - you deserved it (2979)

On 05/21/2013 at 6:47pm - money - by LightsOut - United States (Florida)

Today, I received a note from my creepy ex, whom I broke up with two years ago, saying how much he still misses me. I live over 100 miles away from him now. The note was hand-delivered to my new address. FML

#20665723
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46457) - you deserved it (3189)

On 05/15/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, a woman approached me in the street and slapped me, ranting about how I stole her man. I don't even know her man, or her, and I live over a thousand miles away in Scotland. I'm back in town for the first time since my childhood to attend a wedding. FML

#20661106
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46425) - you deserved it (2895)

On 05/13/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by culodegrillo (woman) - Spain

Today, I got a call from work stating that my employment was being terminated. This was after being suspended while they investigated my sexual harassment claim. Their reason for firing me: misuse of company time. Yes, I suppose reporting being sexually harassed is a huge waste of time. FML

#20681249
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46275) - you deserved it (4317)

On 05/23/2013 at 3:24am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend actually yelled, "Why are you making this all about YOU?!" after I confronted her over cheating on me. FML

#20681698
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46095) - you deserved it (2715)

On 05/23/2013 at 12:40pm - love - by a single fuck (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I told my dad that I broke up with my first serious girlfriend. He responded by blaring sad breakup songs as loud as he could throughout the house, just to see me "cry like a bitch". FML

#20671425
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46033) - you deserved it (6910)

On 05/18/2013 at 6:33pm - love - by SteroidPenguin (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was shouting out for help when a voice came screaming, "This is the fire department." I was relieved until he said, "Just kidding." FML

#20681121
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45975) - you deserved it (2982)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by Mylifesucks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML

#20668592
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45833) - you deserved it (2916)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:25am - misc - by Jololol - United States

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

#20673456
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45811) - you deserved it (3499)

On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

#20684818
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45666) - you deserved it (8360)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:37am - kids - by Laurel (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was getting out of my car, when my new neighbor asked if I'd help him unhitch a trailer. On my way over, he said, "Oh never mind, I thought you were a boy." I am a boy. FML

#20677893
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45648) - you deserved it (6532)

On 05/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by Time for a haircut (man) - United States

Today, my 55 year-old mother faked a pregnancy because she was jealous of all the attention I've been getting since I had my twin boys. FML

#20663345
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45544) - you deserved it (2612)

On 05/14/2013 at 5:35pm - misc - by for the love of god (woman) - United States



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