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Saturday 18 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I received a slip through my door saying that the package I'd ordered couldn't be delivered today because no-one was home to sign for it. I got the slip just in time to watch the guy who put it through my letterbox get in his van, look me in the eye and drive off. FML

#20670426
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45069) - you deserved it (3310)

On 05/18/2013 at 5:41am - misc - by JACKxRAWR (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML

#20670515
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44895) - you deserved it (16420)

On 05/18/2013 at 8:54am - intimacy - by lez probs - United States

Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML

#20668592
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44607) - you deserved it (2812)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:25am - misc - by Jololol - United States

Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML

#20665470
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44582) - you deserved it (3038)

On 05/15/2013 at 5:47pm - work - by Seriously? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I received a note from my creepy ex, whom I broke up with two years ago, saying how much he still misses me. I live over 100 miles away from him now. The note was hand-delivered to my new address. FML

#20665723
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44483) - you deserved it (3029)

On 05/15/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my allergies started up with a vengeance. Yesterday I broke 4 ribs and fractured my sternum. Every time I sneeze, I swear I can feel the broken bones move around. FML

Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me straight in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML

#20662885
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44209) - you deserved it (3441)

On 05/14/2013 at 12:48pm - work - by sumhub94 - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML

#20668913
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43957) - you deserved it (2832)

On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was getting out of my car, when my new neighbor asked if I'd help him unhitch a trailer. On my way over, he said, "Oh never mind, I thought you were a boy." I am a boy. FML

#20677893
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43565) - you deserved it (6293)

On 05/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by Time for a haircut (man) - United States

Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was shouting out for help when a voice came screaming, "This is the fire department." I was relieved until he said, "Just kidding." FML

#20681121
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43487) - you deserved it (2783)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by Mylifesucks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

#20673456
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43384) - you deserved it (3318)

On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

#20671220
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43212) - you deserved it (4612)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 55 year-old mother faked a pregnancy because she was jealous of all the attention I've been getting since I had my twin boys. FML

#20663345
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43133) - you deserved it (2443)

On 05/14/2013 at 5:35pm - misc - by for the love of god (woman) - United States



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