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Saturday 18 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML

#20665470
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43712) - you deserved it (2965)

On 05/15/2013 at 5:47pm - work - by Seriously? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting out of my car, when my new neighbor asked if I'd help him unhitch a trailer. On my way over, he said, "Oh never mind, I thought you were a boy." I am a boy. FML

#20677893
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43475) - you deserved it (6278)

On 05/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by Time for a haircut (man) - United States

Today, I got a call from work stating that my employment was being terminated. This was after being suspended while they investigated my sexual harassment claim. Their reason for firing me: misuse of company time. Yes, I suppose reporting being sexually harassed is a huge waste of time. FML

#20681249
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43411) - you deserved it (4015)

On 05/23/2013 at 3:24am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML

#20675025
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43394) - you deserved it (2894)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:57am - kids - by AuntPeePee - United States

Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was shouting out for help when a voice came screaming, "This is the fire department." I was relieved until he said, "Just kidding." FML

#20681121
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43364) - you deserved it (2773)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by Mylifesucks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

#20673456
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43220) - you deserved it (3314)

On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

#20671220
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43071) - you deserved it (4604)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 55 year-old mother faked a pregnancy because she was jealous of all the attention I've been getting since I had my twin boys. FML

#20663345
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42991) - you deserved it (2431)

On 05/14/2013 at 5:35pm - misc - by for the love of god (woman) - United States

Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML

#20660456
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42633) - you deserved it (8079)

On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I lost my patience and asked the deadbeat I loaned money to last year to please pay up. His response: "Blow me." No thanks, dad. FML

#20661189
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42430) - you deserved it (4584)

On 05/13/2013 at 5:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my aunt drove to my house and screamed at me for skateboarding in her driveway and denting her car. She then ransacked my room for said skateboard so she could break it in half. My aunt lives 4 hours away. I don't own a skateboard. FML

#20682410
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42408) - you deserved it (1907)

On 05/23/2013 at 7:25pm - misc - by Dalistair (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me straight in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML

#20662885
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42246) - you deserved it (3273)

On 05/14/2013 at 12:48pm - work - by sumhub94 - United States



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