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Saturday 18 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML

#20660591
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49340) - you deserved it (2856)

On 05/13/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Confused (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML

#20672414
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49340) - you deserved it (4507)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:35am - kids - by disappointed dad - United States

Today, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. FML

#20683669
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49280) - you deserved it (8940)

On 05/24/2013 at 12:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, my bag got stolen with all of my belongings at the beach. After being forced to ask strangers for money, I then travelled home on the train for an hour, wearing only a bikini. FML

#20670402
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49211) - you deserved it (5038)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:57am - misc - by Chelsea - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML

#20675286
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48267) - you deserved it (4224)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:02pm - misc - by well okay then - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML

#20675025
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48148) - you deserved it (3261)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:57am - kids - by AuntPeePee - United States

Today, after finding out that I would never be able to move my dominant arm again, I decided to talk to my best friend about it because it was getting to me. She responded with, "It really bugs me that you made this conversation all about you." FML

#20665722
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48061) - you deserved it (2917)

On 05/15/2013 at 7:43pm - health - by LordCrafte (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML

#20660456
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48025) - you deserved it (9177)

On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my aunt drove to my house and screamed at me for skateboarding in her driveway and denting her car. She then ransacked my room for said skateboard so she could break it in half. My aunt lives 4 hours away. I don't own a skateboard. FML

#20682410
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47930) - you deserved it (2472)

On 05/23/2013 at 7:25pm - misc - by Dalistair (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML

#20668913
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47907) - you deserved it (3364)

On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my parents told me they're glad I'm an "ugly nerd" because they don't have to worry about me getting into trouble or having a teen pregnancy. FML

#20686197
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47723) - you deserved it (4153)

On 05/25/2013 at 8:45pm - misc - by uglynerd (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my dad that I broke up with my first serious girlfriend. He responded by blaring sad breakup songs as loud as he could throughout the house, just to see me "cry like a bitch". FML

#20671425
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47306) - you deserved it (7071)

On 05/18/2013 at 6:33pm - love - by SteroidPenguin (man) - United States (Colorado)



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