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Saturday 18 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. FML

#20683669
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49239) - you deserved it (8938)

On 05/24/2013 at 12:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, my bag got stolen with all of my belongings at the beach. After being forced to ask strangers for money, I then travelled home on the train for an hour, wearing only a bikini. FML

#20670402
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49173) - you deserved it (5036)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:57am - misc - by Chelsea - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my parents decided that since summer is almost here, it's a great opportunity to start having nude barbecues. I found this out after walking out into the backyard, hoping to sun myself a little, only to see the living nightmare that is my parents' naked bodies. FML

#20686007
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48298) - you deserved it (4416)

On 05/25/2013 at 6:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML

#20675286
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48220) - you deserved it (4223)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:02pm - misc - by well okay then - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML

#20660591
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48127) - you deserved it (2780)

On 05/13/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Confused (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my aunt drove to my house and screamed at me for skateboarding in her driveway and denting her car. She then ransacked my room for said skateboard so she could break it in half. My aunt lives 4 hours away. I don't own a skateboard. FML

#20682410
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47897) - you deserved it (2471)

On 05/23/2013 at 7:25pm - misc - by Dalistair (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML

#20668913
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47878) - you deserved it (3356)

On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my parents told me they're glad I'm an "ugly nerd" because they don't have to worry about me getting into trouble or having a teen pregnancy. FML

#20686197
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47686) - you deserved it (4148)

On 05/25/2013 at 8:45pm - misc - by uglynerd (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML

#20675025
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47560) - you deserved it (3209)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:57am - kids - by AuntPeePee - United States

Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML

#20660456
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47477) - you deserved it (9093)

On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after finding out that I would never be able to move my dominant arm again, I decided to talk to my best friend about it because it was getting to me. She responded with, "It really bugs me that you made this conversation all about you." FML

#20665722
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47327) - you deserved it (2861)

On 05/15/2013 at 7:43pm - health - by LordCrafte (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a woman approached me in the street and slapped me, ranting about how I stole her man. I don't even know her man, or her, and I live over a thousand miles away in Scotland. I'm back in town for the first time since my childhood to attend a wedding. FML

#20661106
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47229) - you deserved it (2952)

On 05/13/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by culodegrillo (woman) - Spain



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