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Saturday 18 May 2013

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Today, I finally scored a goal in a soccer game. Too bad it was in our own net. FML

by Anonymous / 05/23/2013 at 1:55am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML

by crappingrapping / 05/21/2013 at 11:01am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a tattoo of the snake and staff medical symbol on my wrist. Now everyone keeps asking what illness I have; they think it's a medical bracelet substitute. FML

by Calaraphea / 05/16/2013 at 11:01am / United Kingdom (Warrington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was using a restroom with automatic sinks and toilets. I assumed the paper towel dispensers were automatic too. I stood there waving my hands like an idiot before a girl walked in, pulled a lever, and made paper towels come out for me. FML

by paper towel virgin / 05/23/2013 at 8:24pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, whilst driving past a cyclist, I thought it would be funny to make him jump by blasting my horn right behind him and then driving off. I guess he thought it would be funny to catch up with me, yank off my wing-mirror, and hurl it through the open window at my face. FML