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Friday 3 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had a job interview at the local donut shop. It turns out I misunderstood the position, and that the job was actually to wear a donut costume and wave at cars outside the shop. I was told this after I got hired. FML

#20630021
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39869) - you deserved it (8475)

On 04/29/2013 at 9:39am - work - by sdeeter (man) - United States

Today, my dog had her stomach pumped because she ate some cookies. The 100 cookies I made for a bake sale to be exact. FML

#20636616
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39516) - you deserved it (6170)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I stressed out preparing for our one week holiday. We packed for the whole day, said goodbye to everyone and arrived at the airport quite exhausted after a 45-minute train ride. Turns out our flight isn't until tomorrow. The check-in lady couldn't stop laughing. FML

#20640490
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39448) - you deserved it (14817)

On 05/04/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by Tickettoride (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I sent a girl a friendly conversation starter on Facebook. She replied, "I know what you guys are like. Oh, and that invitation to a date in about 5 messages time? Not a chance." FML

#20632227
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39374) - you deserved it (8403)

On 04/30/2013 at 4:50am - love - by Porter_Robinson (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as with every day, I had to endure my roommate talking to his wife in a baby voice. This is a grown man, who has had a beard since junior high, who literally talks to her like you would a puppy or a baby. Someone kill me. FML

Today, I called a taxi after a night of partying. When it arrived, I realised I had no cash, so I told the driver I'd quickly grab some from an ATM. He made me leave my phone with him as collateral in case I was pulling a prank. He drove off the moment I turned my back. FML

#20632603
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38724) - you deserved it (13498)

On 04/30/2013 at 12:00pm - misc - by Brady (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, while answering an "anonymous" survey about how to keep my school drug free, I told them they should stop drug testing the kids that they know don't do drugs and test the sketchier ones. They in turn drug tested me. FML

#20652571
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38623) - you deserved it (13741)

On 05/09/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by drug testing - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I realized my favorite pen advertises a vaginal cream. I've been letting people borrow it for months. FML

#20634740
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38198) - you deserved it (8377)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:28pm - misc - by MrConcise (man) - United States

Today, my dog became scared of his own food bowl. He now barks for ages every time he sees it. FML

#20629727
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37434) - you deserved it (3128)

On 04/29/2013 at 3:20am - animals - by conbon123 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was lectured by my mother for staying out until 2 am because I went to a gig last night. I was told I was irresponsible and made to feel ashamed. Not only do I live on my own and pay my bills, but I'm almost 30. This is a regular occurrence. FML

Today, my girlfriend found a letter I'd written to myself for moral support while we were broken up, in which I explained why we would never work out. Apparently I made a convincing argument. FML

#20645173
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35892) - you deserved it (35240)

On 05/06/2013 at 10:24am - love - by Alone (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to go buy diaper rash cream. For myself. FML

#20634292
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35790) - you deserved it (7007)

On 05/01/2013 at 2:40am - health - by ChangMu - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was so nervous about a first date that trying to break a silence in the beginning, I asked, "So, you afraid of any insects?" No wonder I didn't get a second date. FML

#20632372
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35532) - you deserved it (10673)

On 04/30/2013 at 8:28am - love - by Gioia (woman) - Bulgaria (Vidin)



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