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Friday 3 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my former fiancée, who I stopped seeing 5 months ago, married another guy. She wore the dress that I'd purchased for our would-be wedding. FML

#20630309
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56714) - you deserved it (5238)

On 04/29/2013 at 1:07pm - love - by Good Luck Chuck (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had my college graduation ceremony. As I was walking across the stage, some asshat, in front of over 55,000 students and staff, brazenly ran across the stage, snatched my diploma up out of the president's hand, and ran off. FML

#20651616
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56110) - you deserved it (3852)

On 05/09/2013 at 6:11am - misc - by Uwrongfodat (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finished a dance competition. With competitions, it requires you to wear a lot of makeup like false eyelashes and red lipstick. I went into a Starbucks to get a coffee and a boy around 18 asked me, in all seriousness, what my rate is for one night. FML

#20642261
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55087) - you deserved it (10604)

On 05/05/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by dancer, not a hooker... - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dad called me a "deadbeat loser" after I came back from my first day of voluntary rehab for my meth problem. He's never had a job in his life and sits on the sofa all day, smoking weed and playing video games, all on my mom's salary. FML

#20642863
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54735) - you deserved it (7865)

On 05/05/2013 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, marks the third week in which my girlfriend has gone without taking a shower. She does this every so often, taking showers roughly once per month. She's convinced baby wipes will "hold her over". FML

#20638375
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54479) - you deserved it (9270)

On 05/03/2013 at 1:16am - love - by SingleStrongArm - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for cheating on her. Her "proof" was an image of me making out with a girl. Pretty damning, except she loaded it up in Photoshop, where I saw the image layers she'd used to fake the whole thing. I'm not sure what the hell she was thinking either. FML

#20637622
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53769) - you deserved it (3521)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:16pm - love - by psycho ex (man) - Brazil

Today, it's my birthday. Three people wished me happy birthday: Google, my insurance company, and the place I lease my car from. FML

#20649920
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53732) - you deserved it (4008)

On 05/08/2013 at 1:48pm - misc - by trice (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML

#20636856
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53646) - you deserved it (7524)

On 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML

#20645667
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53499) - you deserved it (8785)

On 05/06/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by stretchy - United States (Maryland)

Today, I finally got the courage to make a move on the guy I've been crushing on. I asked him if he would like to go see a movie with me. He answered, "Sorry, I've already seen it." I didn't even mention any particular movie. FML

#20651541
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53475) - you deserved it (3953)

On 05/09/2013 at 3:01am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I happily told my parents that my boyfriend proposed to me last night. My dad's response? "Marry that goofy bastard and you're out of the will." FML

#20654832
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53394) - you deserved it (5172)

On 05/10/2013 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Sankt Gallen)

Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML

#20634708
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53297) - you deserved it (4136)

On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my manager called me in to tell me I got the promotion I've been hoping for. He then said that since I didn't look excited about it he might have to rethink it. I was too busy concentrating on holding in diarrhea. FML

#20645244
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53239) - you deserved it (4227)

On 05/06/2013 at 11:25am - work - by perfecttiming (man) - United States (California)



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