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Friday 3 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to therapy. I started talking about my childhood and my life. By the time the session was over my therapist was crying. FML

#20651461
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57237) - you deserved it (3604)

On 05/09/2013 at 1:30am - health - by Screwed Up (man) - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML

#20636996
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57219) - you deserved it (6705)

On 05/02/2013 at 2:27pm - love - by Jes_jes18 (woman) - United States

Today, after my mom picked me up from the mall, she asked me what was in my bag from Gap. I wouldn't tell her, and she ended up grounding me. It was her Mother's Day present. FML

#20645473
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57101) - you deserved it (4334)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:08pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML

#20632794
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56670) - you deserved it (7395)

On 04/30/2013 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was in a bathroom stall and I accidentally dropped my new tampon on the ground. Just as I was about to reach for it, I heard a voice on the other side of the stall say, "Oh great, I needed that" and then a hand reached under my stall and grabbed it. It was my last one. FML

#20647074
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55476) - you deserved it (4329)

On 05/07/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by the girl next door (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mother and I got into an argument, and she told me to go to my room. I refused, prompting her to slap the shit out of me. I'm 29, and she was visiting me at my own house. FML

#20654425
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55351) - you deserved it (5705)

On 05/10/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

#20639737
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54735) - you deserved it (2752)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, my former fiancée, who I stopped seeing 5 months ago, married another guy. She wore the dress that I'd purchased for our would-be wedding. FML

#20630309
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54455) - you deserved it (5012)

On 04/29/2013 at 1:07pm - love - by Good Luck Chuck (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after spending a week defending my marriage to everyone, I found out my husband has an addiction I never knew about. Hookers. FML

#20646861
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53983) - you deserved it (6227)

On 05/06/2013 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML

#20634792
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53268) - you deserved it (3418)

On 05/01/2013 at 1:23pm - health - by DemiRawrs - United States

Today, my dad called me a "deadbeat loser" after I came back from my first day of voluntary rehab for my meth problem. He's never had a job in his life and sits on the sofa all day, smoking weed and playing video games, all on my mom's salary. FML

#20642863
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53216) - you deserved it (7692)

On 05/05/2013 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML

#20632729
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53135) - you deserved it (13892)

On 04/30/2013 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by SecondBest,IGuess (woman) - United States

Today, I had my college graduation ceremony. As I was walking across the stage, some asshat, in front of over 55,000 students and staff, brazenly ran across the stage, snatched my diploma up out of the president's hand, and ran off. FML

#20651616
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52887) - you deserved it (3595)

On 05/09/2013 at 6:11am - misc - by Uwrongfodat (man) - United States (Texas)



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