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Friday 26 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML

#20623130
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40148) - you deserved it (2708)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:34pm - misc - by thats what my ipod is for (man) - United States

Today, I popped a pimple while stopped at a red light. When I looked over the woman in the car next to me was laughing, and had her camera phone out. FML

#20627066
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39968) - you deserved it (15462)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:28am - health - by msarosi - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a job interview at the local donut shop. It turns out I misunderstood the position, and that the job was actually to wear a donut costume and wave at cars outside the shop. I was told this after I got hired. FML

#20630021
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39876) - you deserved it (8478)

On 04/29/2013 at 9:39am - work - by sdeeter (man) - United States

Today, my friend made me go on a carnival ride. The whole time, I complained that I was going to puke. I didn't, though. She did, all over me. FML

#20626478
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39698) - you deserved it (5700)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:25pm - misc - by gross. - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my dog had her stomach pumped because she ate some cookies. The 100 cookies I made for a bake sale to be exact. FML

#20636616
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39583) - you deserved it (6178)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was driving when I noticed that the guy in front was on the phone. I pulled up next to him, pulled out my phone and I made a gesture that he needed to put his phone away. It was a cop. I got a ticket for driving while on my cell phone. FML

#20621724
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38893) - you deserved it (31413)

On 04/25/2013 at 8:56pm - money - by really_now - United States (Nevada)

Today, I called a taxi after a night of partying. When it arrived, I realised I had no cash, so I told the driver I'd quickly grab some from an ATM. He made me leave my phone with him as collateral in case I was pulling a prank. He drove off the moment I turned my back. FML

#20632603
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38753) - you deserved it (13509)

On 04/30/2013 at 12:00pm - misc - by Brady (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, my car was stolen from the parking garage, the same one I work at as a security guard. FML

#20625733
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38667) - you deserved it (23622)

On 04/27/2013 at 6:05pm - work - by naps aren't what they used to be (man) - United States

Today, I realized my favorite pen advertises a vaginal cream. I've been letting people borrow it for months. FML

#20634740
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38262) - you deserved it (8378)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:28pm - misc - by MrConcise (man) - United States

Today, my dog became scared of his own food bowl. He now barks for ages every time he sees it. FML

#20629727
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37946) - you deserved it (3166)

On 04/29/2013 at 3:20am - animals - by conbon123 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was tutoring a band member. Whenever I ask him to play a D or any D scale, he stops just to snicker and say, "Ha ha. D." He still sucks. I hate his guts. FML

#20620228
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37943) - you deserved it (5118)

On 04/25/2013 at 3:55am - work - by justgivemethed - United States (California)

Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML

#20616232
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36936) - you deserved it (5049)

On 04/23/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was lectured by my mother for staying out until 2 am because I went to a gig last night. I was told I was irresponsible and made to feel ashamed. Not only do I live on my own and pay my bills, but I'm almost 30. This is a regular occurrence. FML



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