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Friday 26 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my 15-year-old brother got busted for selling pills at school. The officer said they were reddish pink, so we searched the house for that kind of pill. Turns out it was my dog's medicine from over 4 years ago. FML

#20620041
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41153) - you deserved it (3860)

On 04/25/2013 at 12:54am - kids - by kkt - United States (Texas)

Today, from the balcony of my apartment, I watched helplessly as a teen came along and peed through my car's open window. FML

#20634162
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40973) - you deserved it (10509)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by Sean - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the hot girl he's been sending nudes to and cybering with for the past month is probably a bored, fat-as-fuck, balding male living in his mum's basement. The look on his face after I proved that "her" pictures were fake broke my heart. FML

#20623794
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40928) - you deserved it (8059)

On 04/26/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by sanoria51 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my husband laughed at me for farting in the bathtub; I lied by admitting to it. The fact is that I have enough back-fat to create suction against the bathtub. FML

#20618145
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40844) - you deserved it (15844)

On 04/24/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my parents threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't agree to convert to their new brand of Christianity. This is a day after they ranted at me about how I should speak my mind more and not let myself be controlled by other people. FML

#20628024
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40634) - you deserved it (2919)

On 04/28/2013 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML

#20618435
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40399) - you deserved it (5077)

On 04/24/2013 at 2:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had to be rushed to the hospital when I started sneezing uncontrollably and got a huge rash. It turns out I'm highly allergic to a chemical in most cleaning supplies. Great. I just got a job as a house cleaner for a very rich family. FML

#20632205
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40344) - you deserved it (2437)

On 04/30/2013 at 4:04am - health - by ava_henryy - United States (Washington)

Today, I was coming home from a much-needed vacation. The time I spent on the plane consisted of kids screaming and throwing tantrums. One of them managed to give me a black eye with a shoe. Their mom pretended to be asleep so I'd have to deal with her kids for her. FML

#20626326
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40115) - you deserved it (2713)

On 04/27/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by Satan'sChildren - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was small talking with an elderly man, who told me that nobody cares about him. Even though I had only known him for an hour, to try and make him feel a little better I told him I care about him. He then called me a creep, stomped his cane onto my foot, and walked off. FML

#20612321
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40082) - you deserved it (6444)

On 04/22/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by 'creep' - United States (Colorado)

Today, I spent hours playing my guitar and singing in the street, hoping to make some extra cash. About 3 hours in, I realized some punk had been walking around with a hat taking money as if he was with me. FML

#20633517
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39913) - you deserved it (4148)

On 04/30/2013 at 8:31pm - money - by honeynuggetviolin -

Today, for a laugh, I put vanilla yogurt into a mayonnaise jar and went to the mall to eat it with a spoon. Too bad that someone called mall security on me for disturbing the peace. They shoved me into a back room and grilled me about what was in the jar. FML

#20632537
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39818) - you deserved it (17676)

On 04/30/2013 at 11:09am - misc - by longsock123 - United States (California)

Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML

#20636739
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39704) - you deserved it (3779)

On 05/02/2013 at 11:04am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I gave a big presentation to my class. It included PowerPoint slides and video clips of the country I'd been researching. Another student did a presentation on the same country, except he just read from its Wikipedia page. He practically got a standing ovation. I got a single clap. FML

#20638884
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39440) - you deserved it (2768)

On 05/03/2013 at 12:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)



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