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Thursday 25 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML

#20623130
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40124) - you deserved it (2704)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:34pm - misc - by thats what my ipod is for (man) - United States

Today, I popped a pimple while stopped at a red light. When I looked over the woman in the car next to me was laughing, and had her camera phone out. FML

#20627066
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39945) - you deserved it (15458)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:28am - health - by msarosi - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML

#20632607
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39920) - you deserved it (4211)

On 04/30/2013 at 12:03pm - animals - by good husband - Canada

Today, I had a job interview at the local donut shop. It turns out I misunderstood the position, and that the job was actually to wear a donut costume and wave at cars outside the shop. I was told this after I got hired. FML

#20630021
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39858) - you deserved it (8476)

On 04/29/2013 at 9:39am - work - by sdeeter (man) - United States

Today, my friend made me go on a carnival ride. The whole time, I complained that I was going to puke. I didn't, though. She did, all over me. FML

#20626478
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39678) - you deserved it (5700)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:25pm - misc - by gross. - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my dog had her stomach pumped because she ate some cookies. The 100 cookies I made for a bake sale to be exact. FML

#20636616
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39548) - you deserved it (6174)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I sent a girl a friendly conversation starter on Facebook. She replied, "I know what you guys are like. Oh, and that invitation to a date in about 5 messages time? Not a chance." FML

#20632227
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39395) - you deserved it (8404)

On 04/30/2013 at 4:50am - love - by Porter_Robinson (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was driving when I noticed that the guy in front was on the phone. I pulled up next to him, pulled out my phone and I made a gesture that he needed to put his phone away. It was a cop. I got a ticket for driving while on my cell phone. FML

#20621724
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38870) - you deserved it (31395)

On 04/25/2013 at 8:56pm - money - by really_now - United States (Nevada)

Today, I called a taxi after a night of partying. When it arrived, I realised I had no cash, so I told the driver I'd quickly grab some from an ATM. He made me leave my phone with him as collateral in case I was pulling a prank. He drove off the moment I turned my back. FML

#20632603
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38740) - you deserved it (13508)

On 04/30/2013 at 12:00pm - misc - by Brady (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, my car was stolen from the parking garage, the same one I work at as a security guard. FML

#20625733
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38650) - you deserved it (23613)

On 04/27/2013 at 6:05pm - work - by naps aren't what they used to be (man) - United States

Today, I realized my favorite pen advertises a vaginal cream. I've been letting people borrow it for months. FML

#20634740
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38239) - you deserved it (8378)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:28pm - misc - by MrConcise (man) - United States

Today, I was tutoring a band member. Whenever I ask him to play a D or any D scale, he stops just to snicker and say, "Ha ha. D." He still sucks. I hate his guts. FML

#20620228
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37921) - you deserved it (5116)

On 04/25/2013 at 3:55am - work - by justgivemethed - United States (California)

Today, my dog became scared of his own food bowl. He now barks for ages every time he sees it. FML

#20629727
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37461) - you deserved it (3129)

On 04/29/2013 at 3:20am - animals - by conbon123 - United States (Oregon)



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