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Thursday 25 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a family of geese nested outside my halls of residence. They have started attacking everyone who tries to get in or out of the building. I'm basically being placed under house arrest by birds. FML

#20630234
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39350) - you deserved it (3302)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, it's my wedding day. I have a cold sore that makes me look like The Joker. Make-up won't cover it and the emergency medicine my doctor gave me only irritates it more. My future husband asks, "Why so serious?" and laughs whenever he sees me. Fantastic. FML

#20633099
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39074) - you deserved it (3295)

On 04/30/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by sharibaby (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I learned my husband has what he calls "grumpy wife sex" specifically to cheer me up. I don't know if I'm more annoyed that he casually mentioned it after we've been together for 10 years, or that it actually works. FML

#20636797
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38958) - you deserved it (10462)

On 05/02/2013 at 11:59am - intimacy - by MommaAnnie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I had to explain to a friend that the show writers for Glee did not write "Bohemian Rhapsody" and that Freddie Mercury did not steal the song from them. We're both 17 years old, and she reacted by kicking a chair at me. FML

#20626458
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38878) - you deserved it (2466)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while he was eating chicken, one of my friends asked me why I'm a vegetarian. I responded that I believe in animal rights and don't like the conditions the animals are forced to live in. He looked at me incredulously before explaining that "chickens aren't animals, they're birds." FML

Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML

#20623130
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38852) - you deserved it (2609)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:34pm - misc - by thats what my ipod is for (man) - United States

Today, I was coming home from a much-needed vacation. The time I spent on the plane consisted of kids screaming and throwing tantrums. One of them managed to give me a black eye with a shoe. Their mom pretended to be asleep so I'd have to deal with her kids for her. FML

#20626326
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38841) - you deserved it (2608)

On 04/27/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by Satan'sChildren - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had a job interview at the local donut shop. It turns out I misunderstood the position, and that the job was actually to wear a donut costume and wave at cars outside the shop. I was told this after I got hired. FML

#20630021
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38706) - you deserved it (8306)

On 04/29/2013 at 9:39am - work - by sdeeter (man) - United States

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the hot girl he's been sending nudes to and cybering with for the past month is probably a bored, fat-as-fuck, balding male living in his mum's basement. The look on his face after I proved that "her" pictures were fake broke my heart. FML

#20623794
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38403) - you deserved it (7687)

On 04/26/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by sanoria51 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was leaving work when I realized I had forgotten my bag on my desk. As I went back to get it, I overheard my co-workers talking about "last night's office party." I wasn't invited. FML

#20618055
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38245) - you deserved it (4254)

On 04/24/2013 at 10:10am - work - by demispark - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was walking down the street, a car full of hot girls pulled up and asked if I wanted to party; obviously, I said yes. They then shot at me with party poppers and threw party food all over me. FML

#20622653
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38158) - you deserved it (8283)

On 04/26/2013 at 4:36am - misc - by KingUrge (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to go to the hospital for an allergic reaction. Turns out, I'm highly allergic to cherry blossoms. My wife and I just bought a house and moved into a new neighborhood. Almost every block in this neighborhood, including my own, has rows and rows of cherry blossom trees. FML

#20628272
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38152) - you deserved it (2507)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:10pm - health - by verycherryfucked (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking my dog. A cute guy stopped me and said, "Wow, you are gorgeous!" I said thanks. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Not you, your dog." FML

#20621620
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37933) - you deserved it (5143)

On 04/25/2013 at 8:11pm - animals - by emma_waters23 - United States (California)



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