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Thursday 25 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I decided to be playful and leave my girlfriend flowers and chocolates from an "Anonymous Admirer". She immediately dumped me, saying she couldn't be with someone who "isn't even as romantic as a stranger". Yep, I think I just got dumped for myself. FML

#20616571
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51021) - you deserved it (7285)

On 04/23/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by BestBF - United States (Nebraska)

Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" to whoever robbed my apartment. FML

#20632198
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50839) - you deserved it (4768)

On 04/30/2013 at 3:54am - money - by ShowerGirl (woman) - United States

Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML

#20622462
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50590) - you deserved it (2591)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:20am - love - by sad guy - United States

Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML

#20634708
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50249) - you deserved it (3892)

On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my fiancée broke off our engagement. For some bizarre reason, she'd hidden a pair of expensive boots and her iPad underneath our ride-on mower. I turned the mower on and destroyed both without realizing it. According to her, the fault is all mine. FML

#20630400
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49710) - you deserved it (3388)

On 04/29/2013 at 2:07pm - love - by Wow. Really? - United States (Ohio)

Today, my parents decided to wake me up on my birthday. They flashed the lights and yanked off my bed sheets. I sleep naked. FML

#20627190
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49616) - you deserved it (10069)

On 04/28/2013 at 9:16am - misc - by Beth - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my seven-year-old nephew challenged me to a push up contest in front of my girlfriend. He beat me, and then asked my girlfriend why she's dating a pussy. FML

#20617598
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49591) - you deserved it (20260)

On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - kids - by BIGCHEIFAAA (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked out of a job interview feeling confident because I'd really hit it off with the interviewer. He called me an hour later to tell me that I didn't get the job, since he was afraid we'd "get along too well and never get any work done." FML

#20613954
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49550) - you deserved it (3208)

On 04/22/2013 at 7:37pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while paying a $60 tab on drinks for a girl, a guy grabs the money-clip out of my hand and runs. I start to chase after him; the girl trips me, then runs after him. The bartender calls the cops; not to catch the thieves, but to report me for not paying. FML

#20634407
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49470) - you deserved it (4138)

On 05/01/2013 at 6:30am - money - by Alexman1985 -

Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML

#20624598
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49309) - you deserved it (3074)

On 04/27/2013 at 4:28am - misc - by whathehell (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML

#20636856
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49231) - you deserved it (6922)

On 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, for the third time this week, a telemarketer called me. Seriously annoyed, I told him in German that I don't speak English, in an attempt to get rid of him. He then started delivering his product pitch in German. FML

#20627240
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49218) - you deserved it (10900)

On 04/28/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by Anonymous - China (Shanghai)

Today, it's my 17th birthday. The only person who remembered was the creepy guy in my English class who keeps trying to smell my hair. FML

#20624972
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49156) - you deserved it (3753)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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