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Today... I Was Feeling Really Sick At Work. I Messagd Mah Boss Whether His Girlfriend... Who Also Works There... Could Cover Me. He Then Cummd Down... Shouting At Me That Whatever Illness I Have... I've Also Passd On To His Girlfriend. I'm Pregnant. FML
Today, while grocery shopping, I was having such terrible abdominal pains I could hardly walk !! As I'm 8 months pregnant, I told mah husband we should head home !! He thought a better idea was to run through the store and hide from me, hoping to induce labor by making me chase him !! mega FML
TODAY..!! I WENT TO HAVE A BREAST EXAM!! THE DOC TOLD ME THAT SHE WOULD TOUCH DIFFERENT PARTS OF BREASTS..!! AND SAID TO TELL HER IF AT ANY POINT IT FELT PAINFUL!! AS SHE WAS EXAMINING ME..!! I WAS GOING TO SAY THAT IT WASN'T PAINFUL..!! BUT INSTEAD I BLURTED OUT..!! ( IT FEELS GOOD!! ) FML
Today, I was denounced for being a terrible person, because mah family raises chickens, some of which we eat . I was then told how cruel I am for "killing innocent birds" an that "good" people buy there meat from the supermarket . FML
TODAY, I WANTED REVENGE ON MY COLLEGE'S DRINKS MACHINE. FOR THE PAST TWO DAYS, IT FORGOT TO RELEASE A CUP BEFORE POURING MY COFFEE. THIS TIME, I HAD PLANNED AHEAD; I PUTTED MY MONEY IN, ENTERED THE CODE, AND QUICKLY INSERTED MY OWN CUP. IT GAVE ME HOT WATER.
TODAY I WAS ADMITTED TO THE HOSPITAL 4 CHRONIC CONSTIPATION!! I HAVE TO SHARE A ROOM WITH TWO OTHER GRLS WHO ARE ALSO HAVING BOWEL PROBLEMS!! WE'RE ALL ON STRONG LAXATIVES AND THERE'S APPARENTLY ONLY ONE BATHROOM IN THIS PLACE!! FML
Today, I had a note to skip P.E. that my grandpa had written because my mom was busy. His handwriting is terrible, so they didn't believe that he'd written it. I'd twisted my ankle and I got to run another mile fir "lying". fat FML
Today.. . tings got pretty steamy between my boyfriend an me . We started doing stuff tat neiter of us ad tried before . Ten.. . e straddled me wit a raging erection an boomed.. . ( IT HAS RISEN! ) He didn't understand y I was suddenly no longer in te mood . FML
Today , at work , I was screamd at and slappd by a woman fir supposedly violating her 2nd Amendment rights. In reality , I'd simply turnd her away from the 10 items or less line because she had well over the allowd number of items. I've no fucking idea what's wrong with some people. FML
Friday 27 March 2015