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Monday 22 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML

#20623130
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40091) - you deserved it (2703)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:34pm - misc - by thats what my ipod is for (man) - United States

Today, I popped a pimple while stopped at a red light. When I looked over the woman in the car next to me was laughing, and had her camera phone out. FML

#20627066
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39923) - you deserved it (15450)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:28am - health - by msarosi - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a job interview at the local donut shop. It turns out I misunderstood the position, and that the job was actually to wear a donut costume and wave at cars outside the shop. I was told this after I got hired. FML

#20630021
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39869) - you deserved it (8476)

On 04/29/2013 at 9:39am - work - by sdeeter (man) - United States

Today, my friend made me go on a carnival ride. The whole time, I complained that I was going to puke. I didn't, though. She did, all over me. FML

#20626478
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39659) - you deserved it (5698)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:25pm - misc - by gross. - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was driving when I noticed that the guy in front was on the phone. I pulled up next to him, pulled out my phone and I made a gesture that he needed to put his phone away. It was a cop. I got a ticket for driving while on my cell phone. FML

#20621724
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38856) - you deserved it (31385)

On 04/25/2013 at 8:56pm - money - by really_now - United States (Nevada)

Today, my car was stolen from the parking garage, the same one I work at as a security guard. FML

#20625733
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38636) - you deserved it (23605)

On 04/27/2013 at 6:05pm - work - by naps aren't what they used to be (man) - United States

Today, I was tutoring a band member. Whenever I ask him to play a D or any D scale, he stops just to snicker and say, "Ha ha. D." He still sucks. I hate his guts. FML

#20620228
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37884) - you deserved it (5114)

On 04/25/2013 at 3:55am - work - by justgivemethed - United States (California)

Today, my dog became scared of his own food bowl. He now barks for ages every time he sees it. FML

#20629727
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37433) - you deserved it (3128)

On 04/29/2013 at 3:20am - animals - by conbon123 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML

#20616232
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36885) - you deserved it (5044)

On 04/23/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML

#20627981
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33673) - you deserved it (69490)

On 04/28/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32802) - you deserved it (112521)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, I met one of my favorite web-comic artists. As I purchased a shirt from their booth he asked, "What size?" I stupidly asked "How big is a small?" He chuckled, "It's small" and chuckled some more. So much for keeping it cool. FML

#20631829
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32737) - you deserved it (7049)

On 04/29/2013 at 11:32pm - misc - by stupidquestionsstupidpeople - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out I was an alcoholic. Not from my friends or family, but because the ice-maker couldn't keep up with the amount of drinks I've been making. FML

#20614650
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31476) - you deserved it (17935)

On 04/22/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by KyngJulian - United States



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