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Saturday 20 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML

#20604301
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48147) - you deserved it (9258)

On 04/19/2013 at 3:27am - misc - by thanks gramps - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML

#20604154
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48032) - you deserved it (9417)

On 04/19/2013 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was told that I don't meet the minimum requirements for a job I applied for. I currently hold the same job, at the same facility, but just wanted a day shift. Apparently I'm not qualified for the job I've had for 2 and a half years. FML

#20611147
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47926) - you deserved it (3372)

On 04/21/2013 at 6:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, in my psychology class we were covering OCDs. I have an issue with creased paper and my best friend brought it up, so for the next hour my class mates sat screwing up paper to see how long I could continuously have a panic attack. FML

Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML

#20605834
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47724) - you deserved it (5529)

On 04/19/2013 at 7:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I took my Spanish test, and I felt very confident. I got the test back later, and saw my teacher had written on it: "Congrats on the 94%, but I know you cheated." FML

#20615717
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47401) - you deserved it (6970)

On 04/23/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML

#20613283
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47236) - you deserved it (3041)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:10pm - health - by shatMyself - United States

Today my ex-boyfriend accepted my mother's offer to have his wedding in our backyard. FML

#20616531
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47056) - you deserved it (3658)

On 04/23/2013 at 7:04pm - love - by traitor (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML

#20604416
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46927) - you deserved it (5500)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:17am - work - by Anonymous - Germany (Berlin)

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. A few hours later, we discovered he's highly allergic to my Summer's Eve soap. He looks like he's been attacked by bees. Yay for losing my v-card. FML

#20597351
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46868) - you deserved it (7384)

On 04/16/2013 at 7:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML

#20597356
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46862) - you deserved it (8900)

On 04/16/2013 at 7:23pm - misc - by S. Fancyson - United States

Today, I was feeling really sick at work. I messaged my boss whether his girlfriend, who also works there, could cover me. He then came down, shouting at me that whatever illness I have, I've also passed on to his girlfriend. I'm pregnant. FML

#20612786
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46830) - you deserved it (3368)

On 04/22/2013 at 9:22am - work - by work -_- - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

#20623610
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46819) - you deserved it (9319)

On 04/26/2013 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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