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Saturday 20 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML

#20597356
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45378) - you deserved it (8678)

On 04/16/2013 at 7:23pm - misc - by S. Fancyson - United States

Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML

#20613283
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44828) - you deserved it (2854)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:10pm - health - by shatMyself - United States

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

#20607466
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44788) - you deserved it (5930)

On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand

Today, I overheard the guy I like talking to one of his friends about me. His friend asked if he and I were dating, to which he replied, "No way, dude. I have standards." FML

#20608351
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44665) - you deserved it (3745)

On 04/20/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today my ex-boyfriend accepted my mother's offer to have his wedding in our backyard. FML

#20616531
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44445) - you deserved it (3437)

On 04/23/2013 at 7:04pm - love - by traitor (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after 2 months of my new neighbours' kids throwing rocks at our cars, constantly swearing at us, bullying my siblings in and out of school, and vandalising our property, their mother has convinced the landlord that we're the ones out of control. FML

#20620825
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44370) - you deserved it (2225)

On 04/25/2013 at 1:56pm - misc - by neighbour hell - Norway (Vest-Agder)

Today, I was feeling really sick at work. I messaged my boss whether his girlfriend, who also works there, could cover me. He then came down, shouting at me that whatever illness I have, I've also passed on to his girlfriend. I'm pregnant. FML

#20612786
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44357) - you deserved it (3192)

On 04/22/2013 at 9:22am - work - by work -_- - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML

#20604416
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44280) - you deserved it (5264)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:17am - work - by Anonymous - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I was driving and a cute guy was staring at me. Flattered, I smiled at him, but he didn't even react. I realized he wasn't admiring me he was admiring my truck. This is the 5th time this week. My truck gets more game than I do. FML

#20622946
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44116) - you deserved it (6949)

On 04/26/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. A few hours later, we discovered he's highly allergic to my Summer's Eve soap. He looks like he's been attacked by bees. Yay for losing my v-card. FML

#20597351
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44098) - you deserved it (6990)

On 04/16/2013 at 7:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while grocery shopping, I was having such terrible abdominal pains I could hardly walk. As I'm 8 months pregnant, I told my husband we should head home. He thought a better idea was to run through the store and hide from me, hoping to induce labor by making me chase him. FML

#20619241
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44019) - you deserved it (3660)

On 04/24/2013 at 8:18pm - misc - by pregz (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was denounced for being a terrible person, because my family raises chickens, some of which we eat. I was then told how cruel I am for "killing innocent birds" and that "good" people buy their meat from the supermarket. FML

#20623167
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43736) - you deserved it (2564)

On 04/26/2013 at 2:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, my long-distance girlfriend drunk dialed me and told me she was horny. Surprised, I exclaimed, "You're horny?" without realizing my boss was right next to me. FML

#20604222
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43665) - you deserved it (19354)

On 04/19/2013 at 2:00am - intimacy - by Wallz99 (man) - Pakistan (Azad Kashmir)



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