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Saturday 20 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML

#20623130
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39975) - you deserved it (2691)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:34pm - misc - by thats what my ipod is for (man) - United States

Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. FML

Today, I was walking my dog. A cute guy stopped me and said, "Wow, you are gorgeous!" I said thanks. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Not you, your dog." FML

#20621620
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39794) - you deserved it (5362)

On 04/25/2013 at 8:11pm - animals - by emma_waters23 - United States (California)

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a segway. He still got away. FML

#20606053
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39690) - you deserved it (8673)

On 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand

Today, while trying to find my phone in the depths of the sheets on my bed, I gave my comforter a huge shake. A second later, I heard a crash. My phone had miraculously flown straight into the glass of water on my nightstand. Found it. FML

#20593500
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39349) - you deserved it (8251)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by Reno - United States (Nevada)

Today, I left my son with my husband while I went to the store. Ten minutes later, my dog was missing a large patch of fur, and neither of them can stop laughing. FML

#20599149
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38866) - you deserved it (7459)

On 04/17/2013 at 11:14am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my friend made me go on a carnival ride. The whole time, I complained that I was going to puke. I didn't, though. She did, all over me. FML

#20626478
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38856) - you deserved it (5613)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:25pm - misc - by gross. - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was driving when I noticed that the guy in front was on the phone. I pulled up next to him, pulled out my phone and I made a gesture that he needed to put his phone away. It was a cop. I got a ticket for driving while on my cell phone. FML

#20621724
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38754) - you deserved it (31317)

On 04/25/2013 at 8:56pm - money - by really_now - United States (Nevada)

Today, my car was stolen from the parking garage, the same one I work at as a security guard. FML

#20625733
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38538) - you deserved it (23554)

On 04/27/2013 at 6:05pm - work - by naps aren't what they used to be (man) - United States

Today, my mother met my sister's boyfriend for the first time. As we talked about it later over dinner she said she didn't like him. When I asked why, she paused for a second and said, "Well, he really reminds me of you." FML

#20611376
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38136) - you deserved it (2985)

On 04/21/2013 at 8:27pm - misc - by Ellwood - United States

Today, my boss made me give a presentation to several senior company officials about the serious financial losses our division has made this year. Barely an hour later, my boss had palmed all the blame off onto me and gotten me fired. FML

#20605914
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37870) - you deserved it (3001)

On 04/19/2013 at 8:16pm - work - by unemployed (woman) - El Salvador (San Salvador)

Today, I was tutoring a band member. Whenever I ask him to play a D or any D scale, he stops just to snicker and say, "Ha ha. D." He still sucks. I hate his guts. FML

#20620228
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37788) - you deserved it (5108)

On 04/25/2013 at 3:55am - work - by justgivemethed - United States (California)

Today my mother met my in-laws for the first time. She had been an alcoholic and had us sent to foster care 15 years ago. My husband told his parents this behind my back a while ago. When they asked her about it, she denied everything. His entire family now thinks I lie for attention. FML

#20600031
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37723) - you deserved it (3896)

On 04/17/2013 at 5:57pm - misc - by the attention seeker (woman) - United States (Florida)



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