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Saturday 13 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to the funeral of my friend's brother. It was the first funeral I'd gone to, and I was really nervous. When the service finished, everyone went to pay their respects to the family. After I paid mine, they said, "Thank you for coming." I instictively replied, "My pleasure." FML

#20586993
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40867) - you deserved it (17998)

On 04/12/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

#20585643
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40710) - you deserved it (9481)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:59pm - animals - by anyonmus - United States (Maryland)

Today, the power was out. I tried to explain to my boyfriend that he wouldn't be able to watch any TV until the power came back on. His response was, "But we have Netflix." FML

#20580991
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40579) - you deserved it (6095)

On 04/08/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Zxz - Canada

Today, I tried to explain to my history teacher why Woodrow Wilson would not have called the Great War "World War 1" as she constantly claims. I was sent to the office for my insubordination. FML

#20601546
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40112) - you deserved it (4477)

On 04/18/2013 at 3:54am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, after my shift at the hospital ended, I happened to look into a full-length mirror. My new scrubs turned out to be see-through. Instead of my undies, everyone got a good look at my cellulite-ridden ass. Fan-fucking-tastic day to wear a thong. FML

#20583566
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39938) - you deserved it (18015)

On 04/10/2013 at 1:41pm - work - by birdiebeth13 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my social teacher thought it would be a great idea to have a casual debate about Margaret Thatcher and her legacy. Within 10 minutes, the entire class was yelling, screaming, throwing stuff at each other. I got hit in the face with a binder. FML

#20584117
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39896) - you deserved it (3704)

On 04/10/2013 at 8:40pm - misc - by great idea - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a job interview with a man that I got drunk with at a bar on Saturday night. He spent an hour telling me things I did that I don't even remember. FML

#20599168
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39829) - you deserved it (20820)

On 04/17/2013 at 11:25am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found a pound of cooked bacon in the dryer. When I asked my roommate about it, he confessed; his excuse was that he wanted to dry up the grease before eating it. FML

Today, my doctor asked me how often I drink, and I responded, "Socially." My three-year-old piped up, "No Mom, you drink all the time." My doctor now thinks I'm a raging alcoholic. My kid has never seen me drink. FML

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend once again that the dry skin she picks off her feet belong in the trash, not on our coffee table. FML

#20582191
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39316) - you deserved it (4296)

On 04/09/2013 at 1:58pm - misc - by FootFlakes (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my racist, homophobic, generally degenerate grandmother visited. Within 20 minutes, she uttered multiple racial slurs, said Robert Downey Jr. will burn in hell for playing a black man in one of his movies, and yelled that she'd "whip the piss" out of me, after I asked her to leave. FML

#20584991
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37886) - you deserved it (6021)

On 04/11/2013 at 1:16pm - misc - by no tea parties here, gran (man) - United States

Today, I had to sell over $400 worth of china at a flea market. I barely got paid enough to refill my gas tank. FML

#20588597
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37847) - you deserved it (7661)

On 04/13/2013 at 6:53pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got all dressed up, in high heels and a sparkly dress, to sit in the library for most of the night so that my roommate and his friends would believe that I have a social life. FML

#20585552
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37004) - you deserved it (19134)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by InNeedOfFriends (woman) - United States



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