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Saturday 13 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was riding a new horse when a lawnmower starting up spooked her. She jumped straight up in the air and I landed directly on the saddle horn. I can't walk or feel anything between my legs. FML

#20583228
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37800) - you deserved it (3781)

On 04/10/2013 at 5:06am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today my mother met my in-laws for the first time. She had been an alcoholic and had us sent to foster care 15 years ago. My husband told his parents this behind my back a while ago. When they asked her about it, she denied everything. His entire family now thinks I lie for attention. FML

#20600031
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37719) - you deserved it (3896)

On 04/17/2013 at 5:57pm - misc - by the attention seeker (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, the power was out. I tried to explain to my boyfriend that he wouldn't be able to watch any TV until the power came back on. His response was, "But we have Netflix." FML

#20580991
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36992) - you deserved it (5756)

On 04/08/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Zxz - Canada

Today, I had a job interview with a man that I got drunk with at a bar on Saturday night. He spent an hour telling me things I did that I don't even remember. FML

#20599168
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36971) - you deserved it (19725)

On 04/17/2013 at 11:25am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I tried to explain to my history teacher why Woodrow Wilson would not have called the Great War "World War 1" as she constantly claims. I was sent to the office for my insubordination. FML

#20601546
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36763) - you deserved it (4169)

On 04/18/2013 at 3:54am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, after my shift at the hospital ended, I happened to look into a full-length mirror. My new scrubs turned out to be see-through. Instead of my undies, everyone got a good look at my cellulite-ridden ass. Fan-fucking-tastic day to wear a thong. FML

#20583566
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36499) - you deserved it (16928)

On 04/10/2013 at 1:41pm - work - by birdiebeth13 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my social teacher thought it would be a great idea to have a casual debate about Margaret Thatcher and her legacy. Within 10 minutes, the entire class was yelling, screaming, throwing stuff at each other. I got hit in the face with a binder. FML

#20584117
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36485) - you deserved it (3455)

On 04/10/2013 at 8:40pm - misc - by great idea - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found a pound of cooked bacon in the dryer. When I asked my roommate about it, he confessed; his excuse was that he wanted to dry up the grease before eating it. FML

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend once again that the dry skin she picks off her feet belong in the trash, not on our coffee table. FML

#20582191
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36111) - you deserved it (3994)

On 04/09/2013 at 1:58pm - misc - by FootFlakes (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my doctor asked me how often I drink, and I responded, "Socially." My three-year-old piped up, "No Mom, you drink all the time." My doctor now thinks I'm a raging alcoholic. My kid has never seen me drink. FML

Today, my racist, homophobic, generally degenerate grandmother visited. Within 20 minutes, she uttered multiple racial slurs, said Robert Downey Jr. will burn in hell for playing a black man in one of his movies, and yelled that she'd "whip the piss" out of me, after I asked her to leave. FML

#20584991
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34395) - you deserved it (5710)

On 04/11/2013 at 1:16pm - misc - by no tea parties here, gran (man) - United States

Today, I had to sell over $400 worth of china at a flea market. I barely got paid enough to refill my gas tank. FML

#20588597
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34336) - you deserved it (7207)

On 04/13/2013 at 6:53pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML

#20597317
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34004) - you deserved it (3538)

On 04/16/2013 at 7:13pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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